Whether you’re a stay at home mom, working a full-time job, or running your own business, you have a need to create. Not just the things you have to create, but just for the sake of expressing your creativity.
But to be able to express yourself, you need time to yourself, without other tasks to do. But the external peace and quiet isn’t enough. You also have to get to a peaceful place in your mind.
For some, this shows up automatically, when they sit down to do their creating. For others, it has to be created. There are a number of ways to do this, and I want to introduce you to some of them.
Which ones works best for you, depends on your preferences, and on how stressed out you are. Once you start using some of these, you’ll probably find more ways that work for you.
You need to quiet the part of your brain that’s constantly thinking of all the things that need to get done, the worry center. That constant churning stresses you out, makes you ineffective, and puts a dampener on your creativity.
Creating a place in your home that’s only used for relaxation and creativity, will help a lot when it comes to shortening the time it takes to get to the stage you need to create.
Fill that space with things that feel peaceful to you. Things you should consider are colors, materials, and objects. For example a soft chair, a furry blanket, a candle, or something else.
If you don’t have the space to do this, you can create other kinds of cues, for example putting on a special perfume, piece of clothing, or some music you keep for this purpose.
Once your mind has gotten used to these cues, finding that peacful place in your mind will get a lot easier.
If you feel like giving this a proper try, why not join The October Creativity Challenge?
Linda Ursin is a Creative Intuitive Guide, grounding her practice in her Scandinavian tradition of natural and feminine energy. She works with creative moms who are dimming down, hiding or sacrificing their creativity for others. Helping them inject creativity into their lives. So they can feel more fulfilled, whole, grounded, and have more fun.Jou can find her at lindaursin.net
“HOW TO SAY ‘NO’ NICELY…”
Before I tell you all about learning to say ‘no’, just take a second to re-read the quote above because Gandhi nailed it.
This past weekend I was in Charleston, South Carolina celebrating an amazing girlfriend who is getting married next month. I was there with a group of 15 dear, old friends. 15 women. 1 house. Without getting into the details, the weekend was incredible (BBQ pork and maple bacon included) but I’m not writing to you to tell you about the bachelorette happenings. I’m actually writing to talk to you about something that happened while I was there because it’s such an important message for women.
We do so many things out of guilt, while ignoring our own needs and doing things that don’t truly fill our hearts or nourish our souls.
I don’t know how this turns out for you but I can imagine it looks something like this…You feel depleted, exhausted, and stretched-thin. You don’t feel like you’re getting what you need . You find yourself snapping at the people you love. Your energy fades and life feels a bit flat. Your relationships suffer. You find yourself reaching for any quick fix to make you feel better (coffee, chocolate, potato chips, wine, ANYTHING!) because your nervous system just wants to feel balanced. If any of this sounds familiar, you’ll like the rest of the story.
So here’s what went down this weekend for me…
I woke up Saturday morning and threw on my track shoes. My body wanted to move. My soul wanted to recharge by being outside listening to music, walking and dancing. Alone. That’s what I wanted.
On my way out the door, my daughter saw my track shoes and she excitedly asked “Are you going on a walk? I want come! Can I bring the dogs too Mommy?”
Ohhhh shit! I love her so much. I want to be with her. I didnt’ want to upset her. Every bone in my body wanted to people please and say yes. But deep down, I knew that I needed this alone time to recharge and be with myself. So I was honest with her.
“I love you so much Thalia, but I’m really feeling the need to be by myself, outside with my music. I love you and it’s not about you. I just need some alone time is that okay with you?”
I saw the look of disappointment on her face, but she understood. The thing to remember is that we can’t control the response and emotions of other people. That’s often why we women feel guilty. We don’t want to hurt others. But what good are you if you’re walking around trying not to hurt others but you’re hurting yourself?
So here’s how to say “no” nicely:
1) DETERMINE WHAT YOU NEED (or don’t need)
You KNOW what you want and don’t want. Usually you’re first response is the right one so I invite you to begin listening to the first voice you hear when someone asks you to do something. As Marie Forleo likes to say “If it’s not a ‘Hell Yes!’, then it’s a ‘No’.” Looking at your decisions in this way is incredibly empowering and enlightening. You will quickly start noticing what you REALLY like and don’t like.
2) REQUEST OR STATE YOUR NEED KINDLY
Sometimes in our own guilt, we can get a little snappy or bitter about doing or not doing certain things. We say ‘yes’ too many times when we mean ‘no’. We make ourselves martyrs by over-giving and then we sit around waiting for someone else to fill up our cup in the way we’re used to giving. When that doesn’t happen, we’re left feeling depleted we get upset and sad. Pissed, may be a better word.
So ask for what you need kindly, with love and compassion. Imagine what it would feel like to be on the receiving end of your “no” and just shower that person with love as you claim what you need for yourself. You might have noticed that I said “I love you.” and “It’s not about you.” Once you’ve stated what you need, the icing on the cake is to…
3) EXPLAIN WHY
When you can explain why you need what you need, it will help the other person understand the reason behind your decision meaning they are less likely to take it personally AND it will also help you feel better about choosing yourself first.
Explaining your reasoning allows the guilt to melt away. Explaining why you need something is really you saying “Hey, I’m human and I just don’t want this right now because I need to do this instead…” It’s you honoring your own needs and I promise you that you will inspire others in your life to do the same.
Here’s the best part and if you remember one thing, remember this….
When you give yourself what you need rather than waiting to get it from someone else, you can show up in your relationships and your life WHOLE and empowered and more connected. You will have more to give away. Everyone wins.
So tell me…can you commit to saying “no” one time this week when you really mean NO and would have previously said yes?
Challenges bring opportunities.
There’s no question about that.
There’s also no question it’s hard to
“embrace” a challenge or problem by yelling,
“Yay an opportunity!”
The essence of who you are wants freedom.
You’re always naturally seeking expansion,
fuller expression – of who you truly are.
When you allow yourself to grow you’re
at your happiest because your soul thrives
But most of us shrink back because
adventure means CHANGE!
Why do we fear change?
Change takes us into the unknown; new
experiences. The new, the unknown is
unpredictable. “Unpredictable” is too
dangerous and uncomfortable for a
human being who is focused on survival,
so they pull back to safety.
We’ve been programmed since childhood to
“survive” but remember our true essence
desperately wants the majestic adventure
and we’re the party pooper saying no.
“I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery.”
~~ Thomas Jefferson
You can only suppress you for so long.
This day-in-day out, week-in-week out
continual suppression and denial brings
enormous pain, frustration, anger, depression,
anxiety and boredom.
There comes a time when the pain is so
great you’ll be willing to say YES, grab the
opportunity and leap into the unknown.
There you’ll discover the magic of the
adventure and FREEDOM, PEACE, JOY
and… THE REAL YOU.
It’s time to shine your splendid light.
You’re ready for the grandest life and
no-one will ever again be able to put out
If you’d like help with this feel free to ask!
Stay with me because this is an awesome ride 🙂