Sofia has decided to turn her “Green-eyed monster” into a muse to develop a healthier sense of self-worth.
“Forget Hank!” scolded Sarah-Jane over cyberspace from her home in South Africa.
Sofia knew she was right. In fact, it was her own addiction to misery that Sofia was using to stay stuck. Sofia lived in Southern California. The population of L.A. alone rivals that of NYC. Both Sofia and Sarah-Jane knew that Hank wasn’t the only man in the world.
“Like you said Sofia, would you want every actor and film to be a clone of Michael Fassbender? Yes, he talented and handsome, but would you really?”
“No,” replied Sofia.
“Why not?” pushed Sarah-Jane.
“Some roles are meant for certain people to play best,” answered Sofia again.
“Exactly! Could you imagine Michael Fassbender being cast in all of Colin Farrell’s movie roles?”
“That wouldn’t work. Only Colin could have made those characters believable.”
“My point exactly. Stop thinking you had to be Barbara or Monika. The only person’s approval you need is Sofia’s!”
How does Sofia finally get that? Easy. As Sarah-Jane’s Diamond Cut Mastery ebook outlined, it’s time for Sofia to polish up and shine her inner Diamond.
The truth is: Shiny rocks aka diamonds are a rare stone indeed BUT every person has an inner diamond. There is no scarcity. We’re all just in an illusion sometimes that we have to be a clone of someone else to be our own brilliant gem. The reasons vary and none of them matter. By investing one’s energy into doing a diamond cut on themselves, that is the only thing they need to do, to get it for themselves. Here is how Sarah-Jane’s diamond cutting process worked on Sofia:
KEY ONE – CUT
Before you can clarify and claim your divine brilliance, you must remove any obstacles from your path. This includes limiting beliefs, attitudes and considerations that you have been programmed to believe are true that actually are not even yours. Commit to you, choose what is true for you and choose to commit to all of YOU! (Quote from Sarah-Jane Farrell)
“Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without”
Sofia needs to do an overhaul in her mental programming first and foremost. Before any external makeovers, Sofia has to get her mind cut to the right beliefs. Truth is, Sofia grew up an oddity in Montana. Everyone around her looked like Jessica Simpson. Sofia looked more a hybrid between Lucy Liu and Maria Callas. When she hit puberty her peers told her to just not bother liking anyone because no one would ever pick her. Why? She didn’t look like them. After high school, Sofia moved to New York and learned that diversity was a good thing. She got it in her head but never her heart. Remember, diamonds can be white, green, purple, etc. Any way you look at a diamond, it’s precious. This underlying belief is what is behind Sofia’s perception. She still believes it is true.
Remember the Judy Garland quote: “Better to be a first-class you than a second-rate someone else.”
“There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond and to know oneself.” Benjamin Franklin
KEY TWO – CLARITY
Sarah-Jane’s Directions: Take a few moments to contemplate the following questions, before typing your thoughts in the provided area. Then, work through the rest of the book until you have discovered your diamond cut insights.
Sofia’s got some deep digging excavation to do. Instead of comparing herself to others and coming up short in her own mind, Sofia is on an exploration to discover her best inner qualities, talents, abilities, etc. She has always been afraid to really look deep within herself because of misguided shame at being different. Turns out, being different is the root of originality. Wasn’t it Coco Chanel who said that an original always stands out in a crowd?
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela
To use a Hollywood analogy, when Leonardo DiCaprio was a child actor he was cast as Luke in the TV show “Growing Pains”. At the time, the show’s star Kirk Cameron was one of the most popular teen idols around. During his time on the show, it is rumored that Leonardo once believed he would never be as popular as Kirk. History proved otherwise. Leonardo just didn’t know it. Had Leonardo tried to be a clone of Kirk it would have never worked.
Sofia will never be like someone else. She is better off being her best genuine self anyway.
“What if everywhere you think you are falling apart, you are actually falling back together – stronger and more resilient than ever?” Sarah-Jane Farrell.
KEY THREE – COLOR
Your unique expression based on your experiences is what colors your world – it is what you are capable of that you have not even imagined possible.
1. To stand in your truth about what really matters to you takes vulnerability.
2. Open your heart – Vulnerability is the space where you choose to push the barriers down and live an intense life.
3. Give yourself full permission to feel vulnerable – this is where tenacity is currency. This is what makes you value your cut, clarity and color, as rare and beautiful.
4. Follow your bliss by knowing your pain.
(Excerpt from Sarah-Jane Farrell’s ebook, to read steps 5 to 10, gotowww.sarahjanediamond.com)
“If someone shows you their true colors, don’t try to repaint them”-Anon.
Sofia has another deep dive to undergo. The 10 steps that Sarah-Jane outlines in key three. For years she has been painting over her own true colors. These next steps are a process of stripping away all that which Sofia has used to cover up her own unique shine. Whenever she compares herself and feels less than others is one way that Sofia covers up her natural glow. Truth is, maybe Hank doesn’t and never will care for Sofia to the degree he does for Monika and Barbara. So be it. Sofia has to remember that people are free to love who they do. However, just because one person doesn’t love you it’s not a sign you’re unworthy. You’re just unworthy to them but again, the only person’s stamp of approval needed is your own.
Sofia would be doing herself a disservice to attempt to gain Hank’s love by trying to become someone she is not. First, she won’t succeed. Second, eventually the real Sofia will reveal itself, and it won’t be good for anyone involved. Sofia being her best diamond self, shining in her own self-respect, acknowledging her worth, will attract the right person for her that will love Sofia just the way she is. It is a cliché but it’s true.
KEY FOUR – CARAT
Def: karat – a unit of weight for precious stones and pearls, equivalent to 20 milligrams. A measure of the purity of gold, pure gold being 24 carats: The modern carat system started with the carob seed. Early gem traders used the small, uniform seeds as counterweights in their balance scales. The carat is the same gram weight in every corner of the world.You are worth your weight in gold, silver and precious gems. Just like a diamond your weight is what makes you valuable along with the other 3 C’s. (Excerpt from Sarah-Jane Farrrell’s ebook)
The last step can be the toughest. Sofia must know her value. Then she must own it and work it to her advantage. This is not about competition but radical self-acceptance. Sofia has to realize her intrinsic value in her heart and emotions not just in her head. The intellect is no match for the emotions hidden in the subconscious mind. Strong intense feelings will hijack the pre-frontal cortex easily. Emotions are primal and felt by the rest of the body. Intelligence is no match.
How does Sofia acknowledge and own her worth deep down into her bones? She has to do the toughest task of all: Prove it to herself. Often the hardest person to convince is oneself. Once she succeeds in this, Sofia will be cut like a diamond.
Yoga enthusiasts talk about the heart center as corresponding to the color green. A yoga teacher once wrote that the green-eyed monster happens when a person has an absence of self-love. Some say that a lack of self-love causes the heart center to lose its natural green colored hue. Sarah-Jane’s diamond cut process is about cutting past the poison spewed by the green-eyed monster. The more one undergoes the cutting process, the more their heart center grows back its healthy green glow. Like a rock diamond, each cut is a step towards refraction, and eventually a person emerges from the diamond cutting process with their natural ability to reflect the light of their inner sunshine effortlessly.
When Sofia was done being a diamond in the rough she was her own kind of Emerald.