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September 2015 - Sarah-Jane Diamond
The I in my disease.
I know I have been quiet of late – have you missed me? I am sorry if you did but honestly I just did not feel the urgency to send out a newsletter this month just for the “sake of it”, which had my Ego mind doing a crazy dance of “Who do you think you are? And what makes you think anyone cares if you write or don’t write and a whole litany of other vilification about myself!!
September is half way through and I for one have been feeling the pull to buckle in and let go of defensiveness pattern, to look at creating from the inside out into more HARMONY, GRACE AND TRUST in a world that feels very unsafe in the collective field right now and it has felt terrifying at times.
I have been pondering the “I AM” identity with many of my clients lately, to really go into the MINDFULNESS PRACTISE of a less defined kind of I that is not separate from the purity of light that is love beyond the tension and belief systems presumes it is not safe, that love is not here and that we won’t be responded to that really belong to the identity of our young infant self that concluded of how our mothers seemed to be to us. Perhaps there was some interruption or disturbance of that loving care and although it may not have been anyones fault it caused you to believe that love is not here and that life isn’t safe and caused you to defend and to justify yourself and look to others with distrust through a suspicious lens. When we go deeper beyond these habits of mind and explore with a fresh perspective of grace and kindness what is already here that you are already held in the presence of so much love that has always been there and that you are naturally part of in your True Divine nature.
For myself using the process of the Mindfulness with my own incredible facilitator Heather and then using my vast toolbox for body mind healing that is a pragmatic, holistic, integrative approach to resolving these deep buried aspects of my psyche, has uncovered more layers of false truths, of stories that have me looping back into the depression and anxiety of what if….and will I ever be enough….
grace of just being, choosing to be FREE – to live in my full expression.
It is a recovery of infinite possibilities, of true essence that is a truth beyond the assumed collection of thoughts, feelings and emotions, patterns, personality traits and personal historical culture framed by a set of beliefs and separation know as the Ego.
The small self or the big self – it does not matter when the Ego wants what the Ego wants.
It takes 4 seconds to die and 3 seconds to choose to live – look at your 3 second pattern, breathe deeply and then choose – choose to live.
I believe that when we go against the all knowing self and into resisting flow, we dam up in our vital bodies and create stagnation which creates the disease of mind, body and spirit.
What I do know is that I am not my disease especially of self judgement, suffering and not enoughness that sometimes paralyses motion and causes body breakdown.
I do not define or limit myself by the identity of the small self as bi-polar or pyloric or that I have screwed up brain circuitry. Just as I AM not my decline as I notice more grey hair on my prone-to-insomnia head.
However, I recognise the innate intelligence of my body mind and the signals it sends me all the time as a gift of when I am becoming unhinged or out of congruence with my bigger reason for being. The older I get, I find less and less comfort in defining myself at all – never mind defining and judging myself by my various bodily quits ( not to mention my southerly migrating boobs). i derive no solace in my mental quirks either. My beliefs or assumptions or my random lapses of madness when the monkey mind bounces my body around. Even my talents and vast toolbox are a tiny snapshot of who I really am now and the woman I am becoming. I am more mindful to let go of the false sense of permanence with anything let alone identify with how many lives I have changed through my body of healing work, or how many likes I receive on Facebook or how many clients I have.
Unravelling, unbecoming and living undefinable is, I sense the I AM presence of me waking up and up levelling in to the collective identity of new beginnings where craving recognition, the alleged prize of fame and fortune is less compelling, less of an urgent motivator to what I am here to contribute to the greater good of a whole new sustainable, thriving Earth and humanity.
Some would say I am having an IDENTITY crisis of epic proportion. I like to believe I am in an integration and recalibration on every level of my being every 3 seconds to get in the moment and be present in from to who I am and check in to see what is really going on with myself and with others.
As Ann Lamott says in “Atlas Shrugged” – Certainty is the opposite of faith. Certainty is finite.
The end of growth, the clipping of wings, the shackles – the bigger truth that exists beyond my minuscule comprehension. Closing the book on the question of WHO AM I, exactly ? Well that would be cute not bright! The BIG mystery is far greater and more full of miraculous magic than I can ever attempt to imagine. And what ever micro teeny part I play in this infinite universal system called life, the mastery is the adventure of out creation. Intuitively I know for sure that thanks to nearly 5 decades of living beyond the edge of madness has been a flow of ups, downs and sideways where everything is constantly changing including time. The past, the present, the future – it may be a construct but I for one know how much I measure and judge and obsess where I am, where I should be and what is the point? sometimes a lot and sometimes not at all. The Universe is expanding, science tells us so, that it is doing so even faster than they first calculated. My experiential perception of myself as part if the whole Universe is expands too – into the unknown like you beyond the I of the Ego.
So as we head towards September equinox without the interference of our human egos m wish for you is that you TRUST that you are loved and supported and treat yourself with kindness, allow yourself to move with GRACE to sustain as the WATER element of your divine intelligence as and of the love of nature, mother God, the Holy Spirit that is LOVE, PEACE and guidance.
Know we are ONE and there in NO separation. We are moving towards the light within as a conscious choice to just BE FREE to be who you came here to be.
“I AM my I AM Presence and I AM One with the I AM presence of ALL Humanity. `the Light I invoke on myself I invoke on behalf of every person on Earth. I know and accept that this influx of Light will manifest in perfect alignment with every person’s Divine Plan and he highest good of all concerned..”
I am heading off to “Journey on Ancient Soil” in the space of the sentients to track new pathways to presence with seekers
I am taking time to write my book “Beyond the Edge of Madness – how to receive the gift of depression and spiritual awakening” . For 15 years it has been growing with me and it is time to birth what I know and share it. It is my desire to assist and support other highly sensitive women in knowing there is nothing Left to Prove – that you are enough and in so doing say YES to setting yourself Free from Your Approval Addiction.
Please let me know if this post sparks some deeper knowing or questions to you in your own awakening.
I hold you in my heart and although you may not hear as often from me as before, I am here to support you in shining your own Diamond light out in to the world.
I have some new offerings coming your way soon including a new platform for alternative healers, holistic practitioners and women entrepreneurs ready to take their conscious business to a whole new level of BEing.
And so it is, and so it always has been and so it always will be.
Our highest calling is often tightly nestled right behind our core fear.
The higher your calling, the more fear you may have around it.
Annoying but true!
When we step into our biggest, brightest, most expanded self, our core fear is always triggered. Core fears are triggered by a childhood experience, and our ego uses these experiences as evidence that we are separate and alone in this world.
You are not separate. You are not alone.
The ego then creates a script, which plays round and round in our head. By understanding what our ego’s script is telling us, we can stop the fear in its track and lessen the power it has over us.
- ‘I’m not good enough.’
- ‘I’m bad.’
- ‘I’m unworthy.’
- ‘I’m all alone.’
- ‘There’s something wrong with me.’
- ‘Everyone abandons me.’
- ‘I should be ashamed.’
- ‘I’m unlovable.’
- ‘I’m nothing.’
- ‘It’s not safe to be me.’
Which one do you relate to most?
Can you track it back to a childhood experience?
What’s the first time that you recall feeling like this?
The more conscious we are, the less power our core fear and ego’s script has on us over time.
If you notice your fear coming up, it’s actually a good sign that you’re stretching yourself in the right direction. If you were playing it safe and ignoring your calling, the ego would have nothing to lose. As you step into your bigness and make the choice to expand your fears will raise their head.
Think of your fears as opportunities to expand, rather than things that are holding you back. If you look at your fears in this light then, as uncomfortable as it might feel, it’s actually a sign that you are on the right track.
My teachers always taught me, that if you’re not uncomfortable, you’re probably not growing. And the whole point of us being here is to grow. When fear comes up, give yourself a high five and say ‘YES’ to expansion.
Work Your Light:Get ready to shine!
You are so worth it!
Time to get out of your own way.
There are literally millions of opportunities to make a living without a j-o-b. Ways that pay the bills and feed your soul.
Opportunities to work when, where, and how you want. To put life first and work second.
Sadly however, there are an abundance of excuses for letting the opportunity to launch your dream business pass you by.
No business idea
The least acceptable excuse of all may surprise you. It’s also one we’ve ALL said…
Click here for 12 easy to implement
“I Can’t Afford It”
Before you insist, “But I really can’t afford it, Valerie!” hear me out.
Or rather, hear out author of the best-selling Rich Dad Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not! Robert Kiyosaki
In it Kiyosaki contrasts two money mindsets.
The “poor dad” spends his life preoccupied by things like job security, Social Security, vacation and sick leaves, company insurance, salary raises and promotions.
In contrast, the “rich dad” approaches money not from the mindset of “security” but from that of “opportunity.”
Rather than focusing on paying the bills, the goal is to be financially self-sufficient.
Instead of thinking on how can I “make money,” the rich dad looks for ways to make the money he does have – regardless of the amount – work for him.
It’s an approach that was crystalized when a young Kiyosaki was complaining that he could hardly afford to buy anything on his meager salary.
That’s when Kiyosaki’s dad told him, “Never say, ‘I can’t afford it.’”
He told his son that instead of dwelling on how little money you have, what you should be dwelling on is answering the question how can I make more money?
When you ask yourself, “How can I make more money,” it stimulates the brain to take action.
In contrast, when you say, “I can’t afford it,” your brain effectively stops working killing initiative and promoting passivity.
Telling yourself, “I can’t afford it” means you miss the opportunity to make more.
Does that mean you should go into debt to take steps to have your dream business? It depends.
Perhaps like you, I was raised to think that any kind of debt was bad. Now that I think like a “rich dad,” I see things differently.
Now I see that the whole notion of debt and credit came from the farming community. The farmer needed credit to invest in seeds and equipment.
When the crops were big and beautiful he sold his harvest and paid back his debt. If he had a bad year, they had a forgiveness clause for a year. If he had two bad years, then the lender took a piece of farm equipment.
It’s the same with borrowing money to start a business.
Good debt is when you borrow money for something that supports you in having a plan to pay it back.
Training for a new career, purchasing inventory to start a business, or hiring an assistant to free you up to focus on your real gifts are all examples of good debt,
Whether you borrow from a bank, a credit card, or from family or friends, the purpose of the debt is to put you in a positive position in the future.
You are planting seeds, and once they grow, you pay it back.
Bad debt is when you purchase things without a plan to pay it back and/or does not support your dream or you are using that thing to fill a void in your life.
Splurging on new clothes when your closet is already packed with stuff you never wear. Buying a huge flat screen TV or a new car when the ones you have work perfectly well.
So instead of saying, “I can’t afford this opportunity” ask yourself,
“What can I do to make money to afford this opportunity?”
Can you sell jewelry you never wear?
Ramp up an eBay business?
Unload an old car or computer equipment?
And yes, when necessary – can you borrow from a credit card?
To be clear: I’m not advocating spending way above your means so that you drown in credit card debt. Nor am I suggesting you mortgage your house.
But I am suggesting that certain kinds of debt are actually very positive to have in your life.
Put another way…
Debt that funds your dream business can be a pragmatic strategy to start living life on purpose and building a business you love.
Please don’t let “I can’t afford to” stop you. Can you afford not to invest in your future?
How can I help you get out of your own way?
I loved the book The Empathy Gene by Hans de Waal where he studies empathy, kindness and caring in his decades of work with primates.
Many new age gurus of consciousness are, in my interesting point of view, rather condescending about what it means to be Empathetic, Altruistic and Compassionate. I believe that in order to be part of a sustainable planet it is these very core qualities that sustain life across species and that LOVE as clique as it sounds that is going to save us from ourselves.
In regards to how we show up in business any of
So many people are puzzled she I ask them if they are willing to care so much that they get out of caring. here is another perspective: