Do you tell your story with a whole heart?
I love this quote:
“You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.”
It’s your living legacy, the significance without making it significant of what makes you, uniquely special!
The truth is, when we build ourselves up by healing from the inside out everything heals.
I’m trying to make myself stronger on the inside, to be able to heal with life on the outside.
That’s what I’m doing that’s significant.”
It is time to share your gift, your unique story with the world.
I was leading a client through the True Nature Mindfulness Change process this week. She had a huge breakthrough around a childhood memory that has been running her life for over two decades. By giving the unresolved pain – the trapped sensations of her child parts a voice, the constant back pain and deliblitating migraines that had been running her life, left her body and for the first time in a long time, she finally felt like an active participant in how she would create her life from the present. It was beautiful to see the twinkle come into her eyes and she honestly looked twenty years younger in that instant she realised she HAS CHOICE – choice to live life for herself, not her mother, not her sisters, not her husband, not her children, but for herself.
I see spontaneous healings
like this every day in my work with adverse childhood trauma and often get asked if we ever truly get past our stories of abuse and trauma.
Can you relate to not wanting your story to be your story?
Then consider what I told her, this IS your story.
There is a GIFT in your story of abuse, of neglect, of the challenges you overcame and that is what you came into the world and got through to share with others.
You see the world is not waiting for someone LIKE you, the world is waiting for YOU to tell your story as the GIFT not the victim of the lies someone told you were true about your experiences.
And guess what?
Until you embrace the gift you are, your body will continue to keep the score and it will hurt!
You can treat symptoms of anxiety and depression, you can release trauma from the body, but in the end fighting your true nature, your soul purpose for being YOU in a physical body – IN the story, is exactly what causes a lot of the suffering, symptoms and disease in the first place.
For years I tried to live outside my story – telling myself I had nothing to be depressed about,
that I wasn’t traumatised,
that I wasn’t easily triggered,
that I wasn’t sensitive,
that I could keep up with what was expected of me by others
that I had no choice in what happened to me or my body.
that is was just life –
“make your bed, lie in it”
“its your latin life – deal with it”
and a whole lot of other lies, unkindness and judgements that held the suffering in place
…. about my story – my life experiences.
on not enoughness, on feeling like I am alone, I did not learn it with a phD at University, my phD is my story because after all I gained all my experience out in the world, in the big bad assery field of blame, shame, guilt, self sabotage and external bullying.
For years I did everything I possibly could to “fix” myself
prove I was enough
prove I was worthy
and brilliant just as I was
messy and imperfect.
and make the in the lies I tried so hard to make true that I told myself and others especially in the moments of caring not empowering me to do something different.
I remember my Mom telling me as tears pure down my face after a particularly rough day at high school when I felt so alienated and alone
” oh they are just jealous, don’t worry about it.”
and her saying that make me feel even worse.
It added to my confusion, my anxiety and my suicidal thoughts.
By not acknowledging the fact that my nervous system was sensitive, that being intuitive made me easily triggered,
that I was entering adulthood from a starting post that was further back than many people,
I was making life a lot more difficult than it had to be.
This doesn’t mean staying small and remaining a victim.
On the contrary, having a spiritual breakdown a decade later
owning my heroes journey in that dark night of the soul when I entered the cave
was when I finally could own the gift of my story,
and then I because I could FEEL into it, I began to heal.
I had tried to own my story as a child, I shared excerpts of it with others, and I was told variations of ‘you’re too sensitive’ and ‘you need to try harder’, right after I’d been screamed at, shamed or ignored for a week.
I wasn’t TOO sensitive, I was hurt, confused and abused and abandoned.
That’s the truth under all the lies.
Now I vulnerably own and tell my whole story with a whole, open heart,
because my story is a version of your own story and visa versa.
I can say no when I feel overwhelmed without feeling like I’m a failure.
I can take baby steps, slow and unsteady at times with things that others do without hesitation,
without telling myself I’m useless or stupid.( My ex narcissistic husband was really good at reinforcing that!)
I have so much gratitude for my story and for the clients I see who remind me of my resilience in their story.
Together we create a space of fertile listening, of honouring the story from the child’s perspective,
of acknowledging that through the story you created secure attachment when you could not run away, or fight back or create sanctuary or receive
and you will continue to stretch outside your comfort zone to be able to
take care of yourself, as the loving parent who perhaps was not able to keep you safe back then in your childhood moments
and then the nervous system, the brain gets a chance to rewire and reboot from the present.
When you try to live outside your story,
you are constantly putting your nervous system in harm’s way, back in that moment as if it is happening in current time.
Your amygdala responds to the threat of being chased by the lion, and you are right back in the fight/flight/flee state.
For many of the clients I have the honour of guiding back to their True Nature it looks like:
- taking a job that puts you in situations that constantly trigger bullying or harassment -“I am not safe”.
- staying in a relationship that is abusive and unkind – ” I am not worthy of love”.
- beginning a weight loss program only to binge eat on day 2 “- I need to be invisible”.
What would it be worth to you to not ever have to make yourself right again by being able to identify the patterns, the feeling under the feeling in those stories and get rd of them forever?
If you have a broken leg, you don’t agree to go hiking in the mountains with your able-bodied friends.
You don’t agree to a job that requires you to stand all day.
This doesn’t mean your leg will always be broken, but it will heal a lot faster if you stop acting as though the injury doesn’t exist.
“You cannot heal, what you cannot feel!”
If you rest up and take the pressure off, it may heal completely and you will be able to go hiking.
Or it might always give a twinge of pain so you decide to take a job that enables you to take the weight off it occasionally.
Our stories are always changing based on our current reality.
Acceptance of what is in any moment is what keeps us truly safe.
Stand up for your whole story, honour it, and if those around you tell you you’re playing the victim,
know that you’re doing the exact opposite.
Are you ready to take responsibility for your healing, your well-being and reclaim your True Nature to thrive?
In the Purpose Mapping process, you get to find your gold by going into the cave, embracing the parts of your shadow you wish were not you and seeing the gift of who you came here to be, BECAUSE of your story
And this means making space for growth at a pace that actually works – for you.
If you are curious about what any of this has to do with Lions and the lessons we can learn from the Power of the Pride and nature – why Zebras don’t get ulcers, I hope you will join Cara Gubbins and myself for a refreshing, honest conversation about how to respond to life stressors , calm down your nervous system and heal your body naturally.
You may be surprised how simple it can be to heal from trauma and abuse in a way that does not require
anxiety, depression or beating yourself up with all the head tripping.
Join me as I’m interviewed by Dr. Cara Gubbins on the Animal Wisdom Circle Expert Interview Series on May 6 at 11am PST.
Her show helps animal lovers and spiritual seekers connect with their truth so they can change the world. My interview is called “The Power of the Pride: What Lions Can Teach Us About Heart Connections and Teamwork,” and I’ll be sharing how to heal separation sickness, create calm in the chaos of the urban jungle, and use the power of animal totems.
Join us for what will be an uplifting and inspiring event.
You can register here: http://eepurl.com/bLd-a1 and get all the details for joining the call.
and in the meantime celebrate your incredible story – its what makes you, uniquely special!
It is time to share your gift, your unique story with the world.
Much love & and gratitude
P.S. READY TO SILENCE SELF SABOTAGE?:
Notice the name calling that happens with your inner voice.
Start to cultivate self compassion and radical acceptance of yourself with these reflections:
- “I can have compassion for myself and accept myself just as I am”
- “Let me just start right where I am, right now”
- “I deeply love and accept myself”
Accepting yourself as you can give you a place to start without judgement. The next step is to ask for what you need and and move forward on your priorities.
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