self love Archives - Sarah-Jane Diamond

In Praise of Women

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by Danielle La Porte

I often hear “women are our own worst enemies” in terms of our culture. I’m tired of that argument. I think everyone is their own worst enemy, and I don’t think it’s about something women have specifically against each other.

The uh, broadness, of my experience with the women throughout my life leaves me humble, optimistic, proud, and grateful. I’ve been screwed over by females in business and love, and I’ve planted a few landmines myself. But those enemy-making times were the results of bumbling, struggling humanness, not ovaries or hormones. We could argue the bio-instincts to procreate, protect and feed that spurs some nasty behavior from chicks, or about Queen Bees and Wanna-Bees — all very real social dynamics, but I’m here to give witness to the force of pure Goddess positivity that is the hallmark of my life. Word.

I love when having a dose of strong medicine opens up new dialogue and enquiry.

As women Danielle La Portes post I just saw made me smile as she spoke of how we as women push
Push out babies, push out creations, push out truths and push out support into the world

It’s innately within our womb an space to push so stop denying being too pushy and share your voice unapologetically.

And I am reminded again and again how walking the spiral path of ones true calling requires a constant state of death, birth and renewal over and over again.

That as women when we can hold a space to be in the presence of women on a mission we can love the parts illuminated and the parts in the dark as equally memorable and see the power in the cycles of death and rebirth together and let’s push a kinder more connected, beneficent presence out into the ether and the earth

‪#‎goddess‬ power

Remember we are all in this together. Whether we like it or not our friends are going through the experience of life on Earth just the same way that we are, just as our family has, just as our enemies do.

This thing of being human is Mary Magdeleine, Kali, dragon breath, creator and destroyer and when we can see the potential of all things as equal, true change begins that puts into motion a collective bigger than us all.

We are all in this together, the agony and ecstasy of BEING human.

What would happen if we acted and actioned all of it ??

Creator and destroyer ??

I wonder, what is one action you could take today to support our inter connectedness

The fragility and potency of this thing called human Beingness?

Tell me about it and let’s do this thing together

womanbow

 

MY LIVED EXPERIENCE IS THAT WOMEN SIMPLY ADORE WOMEN:

Women shake their cosmic pom poms. Go sister go! How many times has a girlfriend told you, that you got it going on, before you head out the door or the dressing room? That even though your new haircut makes you look like a mushroom, your ass looks grrreat. They’ll be looking at your ass all night, not your hair. Really, you’re hot. Just keep your hat on and don’t sit downGo get ‘em.

A woman makes a cup of her heart. She carries your concerns and fears with you, for you. When your eyes fill up with teary news, so do hers. It happens with women you’ve known for years, with women you just met at the grocery store, in the ladies room, in a prayer circle. She carries your story with her. She mixes honey with it and re-tells it to you and helps you notice how great you’re doing, in spite of everything, because of everything.

Women bare their fangs for you. Like when Tammy threatened to butt her cigarette out between buddy’s eyebrows if he didn’t leave us alone. He walked, we rocked.

Women feed each other – literally and figuratively.  Think of all the meetings or retreats you’ve been to. Who brings the cocoa and sparkling water? Who remembers that you’re lactose intolerant? Who asks you if you have everything you need?

A woman will sacrifice without calling it a sacrifice. Leila was three months pregnant. I was moving cross-country (again.) Road trip anyone? We U-hauled our way from Seattle to Santa Fe with Leila coughing her cookies at every truck stop. I made it to my desert home and she flew back to the coast. And named her little girl Phoebe Danielle.

Women hold on. It’s like Audrey Hepburn said, “Never throw anyone out.” It’s like my soul sister Donna says, “We’re all bozos on the same bus so just go with it.” Meep meep.

Women bypass history. A good sister listens to you bitch about the same jerk for years, she helps you pack when you’re smart enough to leave, and she stands by you when you repeat the same lesson with the next emotionally lame lover. She loves you enough to let you do it your way – again, and again, like it was the first time. No drama is too big for big women. 

A woman howls to help you remember what matters the most. She loves you enough to intervene. She will drag you out of your comfort zone and into the moonlight to say “What the fuck are you doing? You may have temporarily forgotten who you are, but I haven’t and I’m here to remind you.” Like when Karen told me over green tea, “D, maybe it’s all about the divine feminine for you, maybe that’s the question to live. It’s time to move on from playing small.” Arooooo!

Women touch you. Michelle and I went to visit a friend in the hospital recovering from surgery. Miche brought lavender lotion and massaged Friend’s feet while she lay achy and groggy. I’ll never forget that stunning moment of loving service.

Women push. Push babies out, push babies into the world. Baby ideas. Baby thought forms. Baby parts of you. “But Danielle, it’s just a thought-form that you ‘can’t take more,’” Navjit told me. “Don’t constrict. Expand.” Boundaries, pushed.

Women know how to navigate the layers because they love the layers. Folds of skin, the sediments of time, the stories that build into the present. Like how Candis not only remembers what I love but knows why I love it. She is reverent, keen, actively interested in the why of me – and that is what it means to be witnessed by a woman. Word.
All Love,

P.S. Check out my For women, women, women reading list for most posts like this one. Feminine power. Let’s talk about it. We’re all goddesses.

Share with the women you love. Press forward.

Women feed each other – literally and figuratively. 
No drama is too big for big women. 

Click here to Pin or right click to download + share on Instagram.

Sisters are doing it for the world!

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Sisters truly are doing it for the world – it is bigger than all of us this thing called a new feminine economy.

Every day we see powerful, courageous women speaking in their truth about things tat really are creating a new conscious, kind, feminine economy. Britain have a new women PM who showed up on her first day in a soft, beautiful Sari adorned with beading and who knows, perhaps Hilary Clinton will rise to power in the US – no comment on politics, lies, lines and manipulations there.

I spoke the unspeakable about lies, lines, manipulations and how you can trust yourself more over here:

https://www.facebook.com/farrell.sarahjane/videos/vb.670617564/10154882990592565/?type=2&theater

womensupportingwomen

It never ceases to amaze me in my private practise how many women come to heal past trauma, reclaim their identity of self because under all the roles they play as mother, executive, lover, sister, friend they have not only lost their joy BUT they don’t know who they are any more resulting in mystery illness, anxiety, depression and pain.

I want you to know it does not have to be this way -even though millions of us are feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled—in spite of the extraordinary gains we’ve made—those feelings don’t stem from any personal failure.

We’re the most educated, powerful generation of women in history, and yet studies are showing that we’re less happy and more lonely and depressed than we’ve ever been.

In fact, over 20% of women are on antidepressants. (Statistically speaking, that’s one in five of all the women reading this!)

We’re being heralded as saviors of the global economy…

We’re even graduating in higher numbers from college than men…

And we’re now the primary breadwinners in many American households…

Yet, six out of ten women experience overwhelming financial stress to the point where we can’t sleep at night—and not sleeping is the #1 cause of chronic illness!

We also have the freedom to create any kind of relationship we want to have in our lives…

But studies are showing that as many as 50% of us are living alone, and those who do have partners, surprisingly, are having way less sex than our grandmothers!

We’ve even been launching businesses at a higher rate than men for years now…

And yet a staggering 95% of us never break through the six-figure barrieror go on to have the larger impact we want to have or make the contributions we want to make.

What’s going on here?!

In my work with nearly 300,000 women, I’ve discovered that over the last 50 years, women have been mastering a logical, linear, masculine power system that has enabled us to create things at an unprecedented rate that are predictable and controllable.

But as useful and necessary as that power system is, it can’t create the things our hearts and souls are now are aching for, like…

  •          Authentic confidence
  •          Intimacy
  •          Discovering our genius and calling
  •          Creating a prosperous career aligned with our values
  •          Deeper spiritual connection
  •          Creativity, adventure and fun
  •          Helping to heal and transform the world
All of these require the divine Feminine Power to bring them forth, and I’ve made it my mission to awaken this new kind of power in every woman by getting to the root cause of trauma.

teddy

Have you taken the ACE test to see how your adverse childhood experiences may be holding you back from trusting yourself and creating the life that you know is your birthright?

http://www.accessurtruenature.com

We’ve experienced so much pain, frustration and confusion in our attempts to manifest our deepest desires without the power to step into these potentials, and that has often left us feeling helpless and victimized.

The first step in awakening your Feminine Power is to change your story from one of being a victim of your circumstances to one of being a creator of your experience.

Just think about how often you’ve blamed your external circumstances for your experiences?

How many times have you said to yourself,

“If only I had more money, more knowledge, a better education, a better job, could lose 10+ pounds, had more ________ (fill in the blank)

…then I’d be able to live the life I was born to live!”

We’re conscious women who’ve done our personal and spiritual growth work, yet the vast majority of us still identify these external obstacles as the primary barriers to our success.

Our focus is on trying to source the power to change our lives by pushing harder, by managing and controlling the externals of our lives—our to do lists, our circumstances, trying to change other people, our schedules, our finances, our bodies and so on—only to end up feeling frustrated and powerless.

This external relationship to power is so deeply entrenched in our culture, so undistinguished and pervasive in our thinking, it’s been hard for most of us to escape it until now. Like water to a fish, it’s what we’re used to.

But what if the primary barriers to the realization of your dreams and deepest desires are internal, not external?

The truth is that your experience of life is being generated much more by what’s going on inside you than outside you.

The ways that you habitually relate to yourself, to others, and to your life circumstances are the deeper source of your experience.

So, to change your experience, you need to cultivate the power to shift what’s happening on the inside, and this is the power of the Feminine.

The true source of power you need to fulfill these deeper desires is within you, just waiting to be awakened.

I’d like to invite you to participate in a powerful exercise that has already caused an instant shift in many thousands of women.

Power Practice: From Victim to Creator

1. Make a list of all the reasons you tell yourself you can’t live your best life, realize your highest creative potentials and make your greatest contributions to the world. Those phrases you tell yourself, like “I’m too busy,” “I don’t have the money,” “I’m too old,” etc. And be honest! Write down whatever those little nagging voices in your head are telling you.

2. Next, notice how many of them are external reasons. Here is the challenge for you: just for today, let go of any and all reasons outside of yourself as to why you’re not realizing your highest potentials and making your greatest contributions.

3. When you’re ready, close your eyes and take a deep breath, allowing your awareness to drop down into your body. Move into a place of listening and receptivity, becoming aware of your deeper knowing and connecting to the part of you that holds wisdom and has access to true power.

With a sense of authentic interest and curiosity, ask yourself, “How can I be responsible for my current experience of life? What are the choices I’m making (or not making) that are contributing to my current reality?”

For example:

Do you say “yes” to things you don’t want to say “yes” to because you want to be liked?

Do you choose to not focus on money because you don’t really care that much about it?

Do you play a smaller game because you don’t want to risk rejection?

Simply be aware of what comes up for you, with no judgment.

4. Finally, ask yourself: “What’s one new choice I could make today that will give me access to a new story of my power to create a different experience?”

5. Show up as a creator and make that choice. Then notice how your sense of power increases. You are now the heroine of your life!

After doing this exercise, I invite you to post your comments over at https://www.facebook.com/Accesstrueconsciousness/

And if you are still feeling like there is something more to shift, use the power of forgiveness.

Be kind to yourself as you listen to this guided forgiveness prayer specifically created so that you can release the trauma, self imposed or from someone else around receiving and money.

https://soundcloud.com/sarahjanediamond/money-forgiveness-blessing

best free

Feel like you would like some support to heal from sub conscious patterns that are making you sick, tired and depressed?

Book a complimentary CLARITY to health, wealth and happiness breakthrough session now

You can book over here http://www.accessurtruenature.com

The low down on the coaching industry

By | access consciousness, access your true nature, adverse childhood experience, big vision, blind spots, chronic disease, comfort zone, communication, confidence, connection, conscious business, Conscious living, courage, creativity, desire, diamond wealth, emotional abuse, inspiration, judgements, Prosperity abundance, sarahjanediamond, self love, self-acceptance, spiritual growth, trauma, true nature, Uncategorized | No Comments

The low down on the coaching industry – the good, the bad and the ugly of the coaching industry

 

There is so much good about personal mentorship and facilitation through coaching I could write a book about it. I know it would have taken me so much longer to get where I wanted to be on my own. There are so many wonderful aspects in the field of personal growth and healing…but also some of the current failings in the industry. One that has already transformed so many people’s lives including my own over the past 20 plus years and one that will continue to have a massive impact because honestly you can’t see what you need when you are under a dark cloud of doubt and fear. It’s also a young industry – in its teenage years, if you will. And teenagers make mistakes. Teenagers go through growing pains. Teenagers need to see the bigger picture.

 

And I want you to see the bigger picture, too!

So that you can continue to live from the heart, trust in your innate wisdom and gifts and to grow into yourself.

Let me know what you think!

 

 

I have had some heated discussions with my peers on how we can contribute to change the pieces we don’t like about our industry and the movement back to heart based business is growing.

That was the driving force behind my global summit “Courageous, Confident, Inspired Women” where I interviewed over 27 change agents around the world doing business their way from kindness and generosity and heart.

 

More and more women who come to me start by saying they don’t really trust the coaching industry. They share that the marketing they see feels really glitzy and sales-y, as if celebrity coaches are inflating what’s possible as well as what’s really happening in their own business.

 

They tell me they’re scared of needing to have “Hell Yeah” attitudes in order to succeed, or being inauthentic in order to attract clients. They also admit that they feel pressure to spend what feels like a Godzillion ( a number so big only God knows) dollars in order to receive “formulas” that they sense aren’t really a fit for them.

 

Hearing all this pisses me off enough to do business differently.

Because I know that there are some not-so-pretty things happening in this industry that I really get triggered by. And I also know that those not-so-pretty things are damaging women, causing more trauma and holding the core wounding of “I am not good enough” in place more than supporting them to shine.

 

The coaching “noise” is everywhere — over social media, in your inbox, spoken from colleagues. It’s hard to know what’s the Truth and what’s your truth especialling when you are in the big BUT or comparison trap that feed a multi billion dollar industry.

 

If you’ve been part of my community, you know that over the last few years, I’ve spoken out more and more about what I call “glamour coaching”, false prophets, guru status in so called “consciousness circles” that keep you “hooked in like a cult” and feeling less than and why it is dangerous.

 

Anyone who wants you to pay them to learn meditation for examples pisses me off  Because you shouldn’t have to spend hundreds of thousands to learn to meditate or be deeply happy – you cannot meditate or tap or worse still “poc and pod” yourself into abundance or receive stellar support in your business.

 

And you shouldn’t have to feel like your sacred & unique business needs to fit into a one size fits all “formula” in order to be successful. So much of all the hype goes so against your true nature to trust what you know and be undefinable or unlimited. Been there done that one until I gave myself the middle finger and turned inwards to uncreate myself again!

 

And you shouldn’t get down on yourself because you haven’t earned 6 figures overnight.

 

Here are some insights that I hope will support you in navigating the coaching industry in an empowered, heart core way — with wisdom, confidence, intuition, and a strong sense of your ethics, integrity and authenticity.

 

I’ve created them because I believe so strongly & deeply in coaching as a tool and in the power of the coaching industry, and I want you to be able to love this field as much as I do:

 

 

Don’t believe everything you read

 

Unfortunately, not everything you read on social media is the “Truth”. There may be some facts that got “left out” from the marketing.

 

Use your gut knowing rather than judgment when you read things about people who create 6 figures in 3 months or people who work only 4 hours a week but earn 7 figures. Or people who have added 10,000 to their list in 10 days. All of those facts may (or may not) be true, but I guarantee there is more to the story than is being revealed.

Ask yourself – “Is this true?” and feel into that.

Ask your business – “who do I need to BE in order to create success on my terms?’

 

Remember that one wo/mans success may not be your definition of success.

 

For example – knowing I can be present for my daughter and work when I want is success for me. For you it may be travelling the world, free of fixed property and possessions.

 

What is your definition of success?

If money was not a necessity, what would you be doing? Where would you be living and how?

 

I have seen too many people lose their way when they make it all about the money. When you make money the driving force of your business, you kill your joy and your business.

 

Rather ask “how can I serve more? How can I lead from generosity? How can I have more money in order to support the thing I most care about? That way when you feel like throwing in the towel on your vision, the big WHY to get running water to rural communities or a safe house for women in abusive relationships or money to the Pachamama tribe to keep big oil companies from destroying the rain forests will motivate you to keep doing what you are doing!

womensupportingwomen

Make your vision BIGGER than your to do list!

Get really honest with yourself by acknowledging your selfish why to work a 4 hour week or travel the world or take 2 months off to play a year and go from there.

 

I am often told by clients that I am a truth teller, real, raw and authentic. I believe this is one of the reasons why my clients are so happy and successful —

  • They know beyond a doubt who they are through the Pathway to Purpose mapping and Mindful change process
  • They don’t have an unrealistic expectation to be something they are not and therefore they are pressure-free and judgement-free to follow their calling, which opens up so much more space and energy for persistent & aligned action that leads to results.

 

happiness travel (2)

Understand that the best kind of business is one that is grown sustainably based on whom YOU are and who you are becoming – that’s living legacy!

 

Speed and “Now! Now! Now!” are big themes in many coaching circles which through my own personal experience can be a big factor in how easily it is to lose sight of why we choose to do what we do in the first place. While I do love and appreciate when things can more forward at the speed of lightening (& sometimes they absolutely do), I can tell you without a doubt that a successful business is a sustainable one birthed and grown into from the heart.

 

I’ve seen way too many healers, coaches and entrepreneurs crash and burn because they haven’t created strong foundations in their business by getting really clear on their BIG why and what they stand for.

If you have not yet gone through my 4 part Diamond wealth video series and workbook, you can start there – just go to www.sarahjanediamond.com, opt in and go through the 4 C’s of heart based business.

know where u r going

I believe living into your JOY of business as your LIFE all starts with healing your own core woundings, your adverse childhood experiences and your beliefs around money.

 

Foundation and persistence is a HUGE part of an entrepreneur’s work, and I believe that anyone that tells you that you don’t have to work to create what you want is wrong. Now, that doesn’t mean you have to work hard, or that you have to suffer. Quite the opposite — the point is to enjoy the work knowing your core essence and your GOLD – I lead my clients back to themselves through my Pathways to Purpose 10 week foundational process, which you can learn more about in my STORE. But it does take effort and energy to create something real.

changeperspective

Earning $100K but spending $80K doesn’t equal business abundance

 

There has been a trend in the coaching industry towards spending a ton of money on more and more team members, more and more un-necessary programs, more and more applications & technology, more and more bells and whistles.

 

My husband likes to call me frugal, and he’s right: I just don’t like to waste money – it’s my ancestral Irish/ Jewish inheritance!

 

I grew my multiple 6-figure business without breaking the bank, and I teach my clients to do the same. Here is a tip to get you started: You shouldn’t be spending more than 40% – 45% of your gross income (unless you are earning less than $20K and you are investing in business support). I am proud to share that I average about a 60% margin.

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Price Yourself and Invest in Yourself at rates that feel in alignment with you

 

Nothing makes me angrier than experts telling new practitioners and entrepreneurs, straight out of the gate, to charge exorbitant rates.

 

This is usually a surefire way to create disappointment, despair and frustration.

 

I’m all about charging rates that feel GOOD to you and that help you really step into your value, but jacking up prices that feel out of touch doesn’t actually do that.

 

If you want to learn more about how to price your offerings with integrity, alignment AND your value intact, book a CLARITY session now http://www.vcita.com/v/sarahjanediamond/online_scheduling?service_id=b5c4bc1f907b8cf0&staff_id=81e1a3920426f6ce.

 

tortie

Don’t Lose Yourself

I have hired a number of coaches over the years, and have received a ton of value from them. I would not have been able to create the business I’ve created without their love and support.

At the same time, there have been many instances where coaches made suggestions that just truly didn’t resonate with me. The suggestions were perhaps the “norm” or the “formula” in the industry, but I knew in my heart that it wouldn’t serve me or my business.

 

YOU know and understand yourself and your business better than anyone else. Trust yourself before you trust any formulas.

Know that there are MANY, many amazing coaches out there

This is the most important guideline in this article. Despite some of the not-so-great things happening in the coaching industry right now, overall it is a wonderful and magical industry that has broken stereotypes and boundaries, given hope and inspiration to millions, and truly transformed the world. I believe deep down to my toes that the world is a better place thanks to the coaching industry. And I believe it will do much, much, much more good in the decades to come.

 

If you know you need support in your business and life, don’t approach coaching from a jaded perspective. Know there are so many brilliant coaches out there who can change your life. The trick is to approach it all with some of the tips and pieces of wisdom I’ve given you in this article, and above all else — trust your intuition and love yourself.

bethechange

Heartful Call to Action

If you want an entrepreneurial journey that honors ALL of who you are, and to market effectively while loving yourself deeply, then you are in the right place. Get in touch for a CLARITY to health, wealth & happiness breakthrough session (my gift to you), and we’ll go deep into finding where you can embrace yourself more fully, where you are now, what is stopping for having success and how to get you to where you want to be with heart, integrity and in your True Nature

 

Book now – the world is waiting for you, not someone “like” you.

 

http://www.vcita.com/v/sarahjanediamond/online_scheduling?service_id=b5c4bc1f907b8cf0&staff_id=81e1a3920426f6ce

Living beyond judgement

By | access consciousness, archetypes, big vision, blind spots, chinese medicine, chronic disease, comfort zone, confidence, connection, Conscious living, courage, depression, doubt and distraction, eastern philosophy, emotional abuse, fear, inspiration, nervous system overwhelm, sarahjanediamond, self love, self-acceptance, somatic release, storytelling, stress, trauma, true nature, Uncategorized | No Comments

Living beyond judgement is the authentic path to freedom.

One of the biggest toxic stressors is the addiction to approval, an energy of disease we take on when our need for approval over rides our own intuitive process to choose what we most need to stay healthy and happy regardless of the manipulations to control from others.

Its not your fault, its the bad programming of this reality and something I go deeper in to resolving through my work with adverse childhood experiences or ACES.

You can get your ACE score and learn more about them here:

https://thalia.leadpages.co/acetestoptin/

For today, just know that the approval trap worked for you in the past to keep you safe.

While you do want to know that what you’re doing is OK with them, what you really learnt as a child was to  avoid confrontation and judgment.

Your nervous system is wired for survival as is the primal part of your brain, which has not changed much to the modern standard of living in an unsafe world!

We have all be taught to believe (programmed against our true nature and gut knowing), that if get others to approve of us and of our actions

before we take action that they will also approve of our outcomes and

successes and they won’t criticize or judge us for them. And as you have probably experienced in your life, that doesn’t always happen.

Whether we succeed or we fail, approval can be hard to come by and we generally seek approval from people who won’t give it to us.

So we’re criticized and judge for everything even though we do everything we can go get others’ approval. What can we do?

change the way u look at things

There is a solution and it is up to us to make changes. We need to change our toxic approval energy into authentic authoritative energy,

where we acknowledge ourselves as the creator of our reality.

This is the spiral path, inwards where we get to heal from our adverse childhood experiences sabotaging the truth of whom we came here to be.

Yes, forget seeking approval and instead, become an authority (the author of) our reality.

Rewrite your story by shifting the illusion of separation, of not enough ness and get back to living intimacy ( in to me see).

sounds simple enough, but how do we walk the spiral path with so many noisy projections coming from the outside world?

 

Can you relate to the personality type of Earth element, the over over, the people pleaser, the good girl – all fractures of our souls authentic path to just love yourself where you are at

as doing the best you can with what you have beyond decisions, judgements, conclusions and other peoples points of views about how you should be living your life?

If you have not taken the 5 elements personality quiz to find out what your drives you, you can take the quiz here:

https://thalia.leadpages.co/5equizoptin/

5elementchart

Your quiz results will give you a deeper  understanding  to why you may be seek approval in the first place (to avoid judgment) even when your wise self knows better!

When you stop avoiding the feelings, then you can heal knowing that no matter what you do, people will always judge you!

As a child does it make sense that you would have shifted your perception IN ORDER to create secure attachment?

And that on a sub conscious level, other lifetimes of cellular memory would steer you away from rejection in this life time, if you had been cast out of your tribe and left to die in the elements

alone.

I will be sending you a FREE series of simple, life changing tools and action steps to assist you in becoming the author of your reality and stop making yourself sick so that you can recognise your self sabotaging patterns like seeking approval, playing a small game and create secure attachment by trusting your body mind wisdom to heal itself naturally?

When you get to truly know yourself in your True nature, then you can let others’ criticism and judgment be a gift from non attachment and set yourself free to follow your dreams and desires?

When you choose to stand in your truth no matter what, you get to be the catalyst for others to be the best version of themselves and together we make a positive impact to a world that thrives!

I want that, don’t you?

Take the quiz now https://thalia.leadpages.co/5equizoptin/

and post your comments, insights and aha’s you learnt about yourself in BEing your own medicine!

 

Telling your story with a whole heart

By | access consciousness, comfort zone, communication, confidence, Conscious living, courage, depression, doubt and distraction, emotional abuse, fear, inspiration, judgements, nervous system overwhelm, peter levine, self love, self-acceptance, sex and sensualness, somatic release, spiritual growth, storytelling, stress, trauma, true nature, Uncategorized | No Comments

Do you tell your story with a whole heart?

 

I love this quote:


“You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.”
~Brené Brown

It’s your living legacy, the significance without making it significant of what makes you, uniquely special!
The truth is, when we build ourselves up by healing from the inside out everything heals.
I’m trying to make myself stronger on the inside, to be able to heal with life on the outside.
That’s what I’m doing that’s significant.”
It is time to share your gift, your unique story with the world.

I was leading a client through the True Nature Mindfulness Change process this week. She had a huge breakthrough around a childhood memory that has been running her life for over two decades. By giving the unresolved pain – the trapped sensations of her child parts a voice, the constant back pain and deliblitating migraines that had been running her life, left her body and for the first time in a long time, she finally felt like an active participant in how she would create her life from the present. It was beautiful to see the twinkle come into her eyes and she honestly looked twenty years younger in that instant she realised she HAS CHOICE – choice to live life for herself, not her mother, not her sisters, not her husband, not her children, but for herself.

You can Listen to this free webinar here about healing the abandoned child.

and

part two here

I see spontaneous healings

like this every day in my work with adverse childhood trauma and often get asked if we ever truly get past our stories of abuse and trauma.

Can you relate to not wanting your story to be your story?

Yes?
Then consider what I told her, this IS your story.
There is a GIFT in your story of abuse, of neglect, of the challenges you overcame and that is what you came into the world and got through to share with others.
You see the world is not waiting for someone LIKE you, the world is waiting for YOU to tell your story as the GIFT not the victim of the lies someone told you were true about your experiences.
And guess what?
Until you embrace the gift you are, your body will continue to keep the score and it will hurt!

You can treat symptoms of anxiety and depression, you can release trauma from the body, but in the end fighting your true nature, your soul purpose for being YOU in a physical body –  IN the story, is exactly what causes a lot of the suffering, symptoms and disease in the first place.

For years I tried to live outside my story – telling myself I had nothing to be depressed about,
that I wasn’t traumatised,
that I wasn’t easily triggered,
that I wasn’t sensitive,
that I could keep up with what was expected of me by others
that I had no choice in what happened to me or my body.
that is was just life –
“make your bed, lie in it”
“its your latin life – deal with it”
and a whole lot of other lies, unkindness and judgements that held the suffering in place
…. about my story – my life experiences.


Like Berne Brown, I too am an expert on shame,

on not enoughness, on feeling like I am alone, I did not learn it with a phD at University, my phD is my story because after all I gained all my experience out in the world, in the big bad assery field of blame, shame, guilt, self sabotage and external bullying.

For years I did everything I possibly could to “fix” myself
prove I was enough
prove I was worthy
and loveable
and brilliant just as I was
messy and imperfect.
and make the in the lies I tried so hard to make true that I told myself and others especially in the moments of caring not empowering me to do something different.
I remember my Mom telling me as tears pure down my face after a particularly rough day at high school when I felt so alienated and alone
” oh they are just jealous, don’t worry about it.”
and her saying that make me feel even worse.

It added to my confusion, my anxiety and my suicidal thoughts.
By not acknowledging the fact that my nervous system was sensitive, that being intuitive made me easily triggered,
that I was entering adulthood from a starting post that was further back than many people,
I was making life a lot more difficult than it had to be.

This doesn’t mean staying small and remaining a victim.

On the contrary, having a spiritual breakdown a decade later
owning my heroes journey in that dark night of the soul when I entered the cave
was when I finally could own the gift of my story,
and then I because I could FEEL into it, I began to heal.

I had tried to own my story as a child, I shared excerpts of it with others, and I was told variations of ‘you’re too sensitive’ and ‘you need to try harder’, right after I’d been screamed at, shamed or ignored for a week.

I wasn’t TOO sensitive, I was hurt, confused and abused and abandoned.
That’s the truth under all the lies.

Now I vulnerably own and tell my whole story with a whole, open heart,

because my story is a version of your own story and visa versa.
I can say no when I feel overwhelmed without feeling like I’m a failure.
I can take baby steps, slow and unsteady at times with things that others do without hesitation,
without telling myself I’m useless or stupid.( My ex narcissistic husband was really good at reinforcing that!)

I have so much gratitude for my story and for the clients I see who remind me of my resilience in their story.
Together we create a space of fertile listening, of honouring the story from the child’s perspective,
of acknowledging that through the story you created secure attachment when you could not run away, or fight back or create sanctuary or receive
and you will continue to stretch outside your comfort zone to be able to
take care of yourself, as the loving parent who perhaps was not able to keep you safe back then in your childhood moments
and then the nervous system, the brain gets a chance to rewire and reboot from the present.

When you try to live outside your story,
you are constantly putting your nervous system in harm’s way, back in that moment as if it is happening in current time.
Your amygdala responds to the threat of being chased by the lion, and you are right back in the fight/flight/flee state.

For many of the clients I have the honour of guiding back to their True Nature it looks like:

  • taking a job that puts you in situations that constantly trigger  bullying or harassment -“I am not safe”.
  • staying in a relationship that is abusive and unkind – ” I am not worthy of love”.
  • beginning a weight loss program only to binge eat on day 2 “-  I need to be invisible”.

What would it be worth to you to not ever have to make yourself right again by being able to identify the patterns, the feeling under the feeling in those stories and get rd of them forever?
If you have a broken leg, you don’t agree to go hiking in the mountains with your able-bodied friends.
You don’t agree to a job that requires you to stand all day.

This doesn’t mean your leg will always be broken, but it will heal a lot faster if you stop acting as though the injury doesn’t exist.

“You cannot heal, what you cannot feel!”

If you rest up and take the pressure off, it may heal completely and you will be able to go hiking.
Or it might always give a twinge of pain so you decide to take a job that enables you to take the weight off it occasionally.

Our stories are always changing based on our current reality.
Acceptance of what is in any moment is what keeps us truly safe.
Stand up for your whole story, honour it, and if those around you tell you you’re playing the victim,
know that you’re doing the exact opposite.

Are you ready to take responsibility for your healing, your well-being and reclaim your True Nature to thrive?
In the Purpose Mapping process, you get to find your gold by going into the cave, embracing the parts of your shadow you wish were not you and seeing the gift of who you came here to be, BECAUSE of your story
And this means making space for growth at a pace that actually works – for you.

If you are curious about what any of this has to do with Lions and the lessons we can learn from the Power of the Pride and nature – why Zebras don’t get ulcers, I hope you will join Cara Gubbins and myself for a refreshing, honest conversation about how to respond to life stressors , calm down your nervous system and heal your body naturally.
You may be surprised how simple it can be to heal from trauma and abuse in a way that does not require
anxiety, depression or beating yourself up with all the head tripping.

Join me as I’m interviewed by Dr. Cara Gubbins on the Animal Wisdom Circle Expert Interview Series on May 6 at 11am PST.
Her show helps animal lovers and spiritual seekers connect with their truth so they can change the world. My interview is called “The Power of the Pride: What Lions Can Teach Us About Heart Connections and Teamwork,” and I’ll be sharing how to heal separation sickness, create calm in the chaos of the urban jungle, and use the power of animal totems.
Join us for what will be an uplifting and inspiring event.

You can register here: http://eepurl.com/bLd-a1 and get all the details for joining the call.

and in the meantime celebrate your incredible story – its what makes you, uniquely special!
It is time to share your gift, your unique story with the world.

Much love & and gratitude

P.S. READY TO SILENCE SELF SABOTAGE?:

Notice the name calling that happens with your inner voice.

Start to cultivate self compassion and radical acceptance of yourself with these reflections:

  • “I can have compassion for myself and accept myself just as I am”
  • “Let me just start right where I am, right now”
  • “I deeply love and accept myself”

Accepting yourself as you can give you a place to start without judgement. The next step is to ask for what you need and and move forward on your priorities.

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