spiritual growth Archives - Sarah-Jane Diamond

Sisters are doing it for the world!

By | access consciousness, access your true nature, adverse childhood experience, big vision, blind spots, chronic disease, comfort zone, communication, confidence, conscious business, Conscious living, conscious parenting, courage, depression, doubt and distraction, emotional abuse, inspiration, judgements, Prosperity abundance, receiving, sarahjanediamond, self love, spiritual growth, stress, trauma, true nature | No Comments

Sisters truly are doing it for the world – it is bigger than all of us this thing called a new feminine economy.

Every day we see powerful, courageous women speaking in their truth about things tat really are creating a new conscious, kind, feminine economy. Britain have a new women PM who showed up on her first day in a soft, beautiful Sari adorned with beading and who knows, perhaps Hilary Clinton will rise to power in the US – no comment on politics, lies, lines and manipulations there.

I spoke the unspeakable about lies, lines, manipulations and how you can trust yourself more over here:

https://www.facebook.com/farrell.sarahjane/videos/vb.670617564/10154882990592565/?type=2&theater

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It never ceases to amaze me in my private practise how many women come to heal past trauma, reclaim their identity of self because under all the roles they play as mother, executive, lover, sister, friend they have not only lost their joy BUT they don’t know who they are any more resulting in mystery illness, anxiety, depression and pain.

I want you to know it does not have to be this way -even though millions of us are feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled—in spite of the extraordinary gains we’ve made—those feelings don’t stem from any personal failure.

We’re the most educated, powerful generation of women in history, and yet studies are showing that we’re less happy and more lonely and depressed than we’ve ever been.

In fact, over 20% of women are on antidepressants. (Statistically speaking, that’s one in five of all the women reading this!)

We’re being heralded as saviors of the global economy…

We’re even graduating in higher numbers from college than men…

And we’re now the primary breadwinners in many American households…

Yet, six out of ten women experience overwhelming financial stress to the point where we can’t sleep at night—and not sleeping is the #1 cause of chronic illness!

We also have the freedom to create any kind of relationship we want to have in our lives…

But studies are showing that as many as 50% of us are living alone, and those who do have partners, surprisingly, are having way less sex than our grandmothers!

We’ve even been launching businesses at a higher rate than men for years now…

And yet a staggering 95% of us never break through the six-figure barrieror go on to have the larger impact we want to have or make the contributions we want to make.

What’s going on here?!

In my work with nearly 300,000 women, I’ve discovered that over the last 50 years, women have been mastering a logical, linear, masculine power system that has enabled us to create things at an unprecedented rate that are predictable and controllable.

But as useful and necessary as that power system is, it can’t create the things our hearts and souls are now are aching for, like…

  •          Authentic confidence
  •          Intimacy
  •          Discovering our genius and calling
  •          Creating a prosperous career aligned with our values
  •          Deeper spiritual connection
  •          Creativity, adventure and fun
  •          Helping to heal and transform the world
All of these require the divine Feminine Power to bring them forth, and I’ve made it my mission to awaken this new kind of power in every woman by getting to the root cause of trauma.

teddy

Have you taken the ACE test to see how your adverse childhood experiences may be holding you back from trusting yourself and creating the life that you know is your birthright?

http://www.accessurtruenature.com

We’ve experienced so much pain, frustration and confusion in our attempts to manifest our deepest desires without the power to step into these potentials, and that has often left us feeling helpless and victimized.

The first step in awakening your Feminine Power is to change your story from one of being a victim of your circumstances to one of being a creator of your experience.

Just think about how often you’ve blamed your external circumstances for your experiences?

How many times have you said to yourself,

“If only I had more money, more knowledge, a better education, a better job, could lose 10+ pounds, had more ________ (fill in the blank)

…then I’d be able to live the life I was born to live!”

We’re conscious women who’ve done our personal and spiritual growth work, yet the vast majority of us still identify these external obstacles as the primary barriers to our success.

Our focus is on trying to source the power to change our lives by pushing harder, by managing and controlling the externals of our lives—our to do lists, our circumstances, trying to change other people, our schedules, our finances, our bodies and so on—only to end up feeling frustrated and powerless.

This external relationship to power is so deeply entrenched in our culture, so undistinguished and pervasive in our thinking, it’s been hard for most of us to escape it until now. Like water to a fish, it’s what we’re used to.

But what if the primary barriers to the realization of your dreams and deepest desires are internal, not external?

The truth is that your experience of life is being generated much more by what’s going on inside you than outside you.

The ways that you habitually relate to yourself, to others, and to your life circumstances are the deeper source of your experience.

So, to change your experience, you need to cultivate the power to shift what’s happening on the inside, and this is the power of the Feminine.

The true source of power you need to fulfill these deeper desires is within you, just waiting to be awakened.

I’d like to invite you to participate in a powerful exercise that has already caused an instant shift in many thousands of women.

Power Practice: From Victim to Creator

1. Make a list of all the reasons you tell yourself you can’t live your best life, realize your highest creative potentials and make your greatest contributions to the world. Those phrases you tell yourself, like “I’m too busy,” “I don’t have the money,” “I’m too old,” etc. And be honest! Write down whatever those little nagging voices in your head are telling you.

2. Next, notice how many of them are external reasons. Here is the challenge for you: just for today, let go of any and all reasons outside of yourself as to why you’re not realizing your highest potentials and making your greatest contributions.

3. When you’re ready, close your eyes and take a deep breath, allowing your awareness to drop down into your body. Move into a place of listening and receptivity, becoming aware of your deeper knowing and connecting to the part of you that holds wisdom and has access to true power.

With a sense of authentic interest and curiosity, ask yourself, “How can I be responsible for my current experience of life? What are the choices I’m making (or not making) that are contributing to my current reality?”

For example:

Do you say “yes” to things you don’t want to say “yes” to because you want to be liked?

Do you choose to not focus on money because you don’t really care that much about it?

Do you play a smaller game because you don’t want to risk rejection?

Simply be aware of what comes up for you, with no judgment.

4. Finally, ask yourself: “What’s one new choice I could make today that will give me access to a new story of my power to create a different experience?”

5. Show up as a creator and make that choice. Then notice how your sense of power increases. You are now the heroine of your life!

After doing this exercise, I invite you to post your comments over at https://www.facebook.com/Accesstrueconsciousness/

And if you are still feeling like there is something more to shift, use the power of forgiveness.

Be kind to yourself as you listen to this guided forgiveness prayer specifically created so that you can release the trauma, self imposed or from someone else around receiving and money.

https://soundcloud.com/sarahjanediamond/money-forgiveness-blessing

best free

Feel like you would like some support to heal from sub conscious patterns that are making you sick, tired and depressed?

Book a complimentary CLARITY to health, wealth and happiness breakthrough session now

You can book over here http://www.accessurtruenature.com

What is the Enneagram?

By | access consciousness, access your true nature, adverse childhood experience, archetypes, astrology, big vision, blind spots, bodytalk, chinese medicine, chronic disease, comfort zone, connection, depression, desire, eastern philosophy, inspiration, numerology, sarahjanediamond, spiritual growth, trauma, true nature | No Comments

What  is  the  Enneagram?

mindshift

The  Enneagram  is  a  personality  typing  system  that  serves  as  a   powerful  gateway  to  your  inner  wisdom  and  can  shed  light  on   behaviors  which  might  be  undermining  your  ability  to  access   wholeness,  true  intimacy,  and  the  fulfillment  of  your  life’s   dreams.

 

On  my  own  journey  to  healing  from  trauma  and  depression  and   in  working  with  thousands  of  clients  to  reclaim  their  health,   happiness  and  abundance  I  discovered  that  certain  personality   traits  made  certain  people  more  prone  to  mystery  diseases  like   chronic  fatigue  and  immune  system  failure,  than  others.

 

It  seems  that  type  1  (reformers/perfectionists),  type  2  (givers),   type  3  (achievers)  and  type  6  (loyalist/anxiety  types)  are   naturally  more  pre  disposed  to  chronic  fatigue  and  auto  immune   disease.

 

I  speak  about  the  effects  of  unresolved  adverse  childhood   experiences

 

and  chronic  unpredictable  stress  a  lot,  as  it  is  a   foundational  step  of  my  work  with  root  cause  resolution  for  my   clients.

 

You  can  listen  to  a  short  introduction  to  ACE’s  here    https://soundcloud.com/sarahjanediamond/what-­are-­aces     

and  learn  what  the  impact  of  a  high  ace  score  on  your  health   can  have  over  a  lifetime  if  not  resolved.  ACEs  not  only  impact   biology,  they  also  influence  and  shape  our  personalities,  so   events  in  childhood  can  lead  us  to  become  over-­achievers,   workaholics  and  over-­givers  for  example.

teddy

 

You  may  also  find  this  short  video  of  interest  on  the  impact  of   Ace’s  here:

 

 

The  good  news  is  you  can  heal  these  traumas  safely  and  gently   through  the  Access  your  True  Nature  systems.

 

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I  have  an  insatiable  thirst  for  knowledge  as  an  enneagram  type  7   and  continue  to  master  completion  and  focusing  on  just  1  thing.   It  has  taken  me  a  long  time  to  realize  that  it  is  okay  to  be    present  in  whatever  I  am  doing  now  without  going  into  the    future  even  when  I  am  very  actively  busy.

 

In  numerology  I  am  a  1,  a  leader,  a  firestarter  and    understanding  my  essence  has  been  hugely  beneficial  in   becoming  deeply  happy  rather  than  avoiding  pain.  Going   through  the  work  to  love  whom  I  am  including  the  shadow  parts   saved  me  from  myself  and  why  I  do  the  work  I  do  with  my   clients  to  access  their  own  True  divine  nature.

 

That  is  why  after  learning  everything  from  numerology,  to   Kabbalistic  numerology,  tarot,  vedic  astrology  and  every  other   type  of  profiling  available,  I  created  my  own  system  –  a  12   week  program  called  “Pathway  to  Purpose  –  living  the   illuminated  life”,  using  Mindful  change,  the  5  Element   personality  profile,

5elementchart

You  can  take  my  quiz  online  here:

https://thalia.leadpages.co/5equizoptin/

 

 

Enneagram,  Meyers  Briggs  and  Spiritual  astrology  based  on    the  4  quandrants  of  my  hero  Ken  Wilbers’  work  and  Joseph   Campbell’s  Heroines  Journey.  Mixed  with  my  own  intuitive  gifts,   trauma  resolution  and  attachment  style  work,  I  help  my  clients   resolve  trauma,  heal  their  body  mind  and  live  a  fulfilled,  happy   life. It is powerful self discovery to write your own prescription – an “operating system” which will allow you to make intelligent choices about what could be most helpful in your full self-expression and ultimately your living legacy.

 

If  you  are  curious  about  how  you  too,  can  heal  from  trauma  and   find  your  gold  –  connect  to  the  essence  of  what  you  came  here   to  gift  to  the  world,  then  book  a  complimentary  CLARITY  to   health,  wealth  and  happiness  discovery  session  with  me  now.

   http://www.vcita.com/v/sarahjanediamond/online_scheduli ng?service_id=b5c4bc1f907b8cf0&staff_id=81e1a3920426f 6ce

 

enneagram

 

Understanding  your  Enneagram  type  is  a  tool  for  exploring   what  makes  us  tick,  what  drives  us,  and  can  help  you  identify   and  ultimately  release  behaviours  originating  from  childhood   trauma  that  are  undermining  your  health  and  well-­being  in   adulthood.

 

Type One is principled, purposeful, self-controlled, and perfectionistic.

Type Two is generous, demonstrative, people-pleasing, and possessive.

Type Three is adaptable, excelling, driven, and image-conscious. Type Four is expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, and temperamental.

Type Five is perceptive, innovative, secretive, and isolated. Type Six is engaging, responsible, anxious, and suspicious.

Type Seven is spontaneous, versatile, acquisitive, and scattered. Type Eight is self-confident, decisive, willful, and confrontational. Type Nine is receptive, reassuring, complacent, and resigned.

 

– See more at: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/how-the- enneagram-system-works/#sthash.qIg9hJZ7.dpuf

 

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  Curious  to  know  what  Enneagram  Type  you  are?  

  

To  complete  a  short  questionnaire  to  establish  your  Enneagram   type  and  read  and  listen  to  a  summary  of  all  the  types    https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/guide-­to-­all-­riso-­hudson-­  tests/

Ready  to  dive  into  deeper  healing  through  The  True  Nature   Systems?

Book  a  complimentary  CLARITY  to  health,  wealth  and   happiness  discovery  session  with  me  now.    

http://www.vcita.com/v/sarahjanediamond/online_scheduli ng?service_id=b5c4bc1f907b8cf0&staff_id=81e1a3920426f 6ce

 

 

The low down on the coaching industry

By | access consciousness, access your true nature, adverse childhood experience, big vision, blind spots, chronic disease, comfort zone, communication, confidence, connection, conscious business, Conscious living, courage, creativity, desire, diamond wealth, emotional abuse, inspiration, judgements, Prosperity abundance, sarahjanediamond, self love, self-acceptance, spiritual growth, trauma, true nature, Uncategorized | No Comments

The low down on the coaching industry – the good, the bad and the ugly of the coaching industry

 

There is so much good about personal mentorship and facilitation through coaching I could write a book about it. I know it would have taken me so much longer to get where I wanted to be on my own. There are so many wonderful aspects in the field of personal growth and healing…but also some of the current failings in the industry. One that has already transformed so many people’s lives including my own over the past 20 plus years and one that will continue to have a massive impact because honestly you can’t see what you need when you are under a dark cloud of doubt and fear. It’s also a young industry – in its teenage years, if you will. And teenagers make mistakes. Teenagers go through growing pains. Teenagers need to see the bigger picture.

 

And I want you to see the bigger picture, too!

So that you can continue to live from the heart, trust in your innate wisdom and gifts and to grow into yourself.

Let me know what you think!

 

 

I have had some heated discussions with my peers on how we can contribute to change the pieces we don’t like about our industry and the movement back to heart based business is growing.

That was the driving force behind my global summit “Courageous, Confident, Inspired Women” where I interviewed over 27 change agents around the world doing business their way from kindness and generosity and heart.

 

More and more women who come to me start by saying they don’t really trust the coaching industry. They share that the marketing they see feels really glitzy and sales-y, as if celebrity coaches are inflating what’s possible as well as what’s really happening in their own business.

 

They tell me they’re scared of needing to have “Hell Yeah” attitudes in order to succeed, or being inauthentic in order to attract clients. They also admit that they feel pressure to spend what feels like a Godzillion ( a number so big only God knows) dollars in order to receive “formulas” that they sense aren’t really a fit for them.

 

Hearing all this pisses me off enough to do business differently.

Because I know that there are some not-so-pretty things happening in this industry that I really get triggered by. And I also know that those not-so-pretty things are damaging women, causing more trauma and holding the core wounding of “I am not good enough” in place more than supporting them to shine.

 

The coaching “noise” is everywhere — over social media, in your inbox, spoken from colleagues. It’s hard to know what’s the Truth and what’s your truth especialling when you are in the big BUT or comparison trap that feed a multi billion dollar industry.

 

If you’ve been part of my community, you know that over the last few years, I’ve spoken out more and more about what I call “glamour coaching”, false prophets, guru status in so called “consciousness circles” that keep you “hooked in like a cult” and feeling less than and why it is dangerous.

 

Anyone who wants you to pay them to learn meditation for examples pisses me off  Because you shouldn’t have to spend hundreds of thousands to learn to meditate or be deeply happy – you cannot meditate or tap or worse still “poc and pod” yourself into abundance or receive stellar support in your business.

 

And you shouldn’t have to feel like your sacred & unique business needs to fit into a one size fits all “formula” in order to be successful. So much of all the hype goes so against your true nature to trust what you know and be undefinable or unlimited. Been there done that one until I gave myself the middle finger and turned inwards to uncreate myself again!

 

And you shouldn’t get down on yourself because you haven’t earned 6 figures overnight.

 

Here are some insights that I hope will support you in navigating the coaching industry in an empowered, heart core way — with wisdom, confidence, intuition, and a strong sense of your ethics, integrity and authenticity.

 

I’ve created them because I believe so strongly & deeply in coaching as a tool and in the power of the coaching industry, and I want you to be able to love this field as much as I do:

 

 

Don’t believe everything you read

 

Unfortunately, not everything you read on social media is the “Truth”. There may be some facts that got “left out” from the marketing.

 

Use your gut knowing rather than judgment when you read things about people who create 6 figures in 3 months or people who work only 4 hours a week but earn 7 figures. Or people who have added 10,000 to their list in 10 days. All of those facts may (or may not) be true, but I guarantee there is more to the story than is being revealed.

Ask yourself – “Is this true?” and feel into that.

Ask your business – “who do I need to BE in order to create success on my terms?’

 

Remember that one wo/mans success may not be your definition of success.

 

For example – knowing I can be present for my daughter and work when I want is success for me. For you it may be travelling the world, free of fixed property and possessions.

 

What is your definition of success?

If money was not a necessity, what would you be doing? Where would you be living and how?

 

I have seen too many people lose their way when they make it all about the money. When you make money the driving force of your business, you kill your joy and your business.

 

Rather ask “how can I serve more? How can I lead from generosity? How can I have more money in order to support the thing I most care about? That way when you feel like throwing in the towel on your vision, the big WHY to get running water to rural communities or a safe house for women in abusive relationships or money to the Pachamama tribe to keep big oil companies from destroying the rain forests will motivate you to keep doing what you are doing!

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Make your vision BIGGER than your to do list!

Get really honest with yourself by acknowledging your selfish why to work a 4 hour week or travel the world or take 2 months off to play a year and go from there.

 

I am often told by clients that I am a truth teller, real, raw and authentic. I believe this is one of the reasons why my clients are so happy and successful —

  • They know beyond a doubt who they are through the Pathway to Purpose mapping and Mindful change process
  • They don’t have an unrealistic expectation to be something they are not and therefore they are pressure-free and judgement-free to follow their calling, which opens up so much more space and energy for persistent & aligned action that leads to results.

 

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Understand that the best kind of business is one that is grown sustainably based on whom YOU are and who you are becoming – that’s living legacy!

 

Speed and “Now! Now! Now!” are big themes in many coaching circles which through my own personal experience can be a big factor in how easily it is to lose sight of why we choose to do what we do in the first place. While I do love and appreciate when things can more forward at the speed of lightening (& sometimes they absolutely do), I can tell you without a doubt that a successful business is a sustainable one birthed and grown into from the heart.

 

I’ve seen way too many healers, coaches and entrepreneurs crash and burn because they haven’t created strong foundations in their business by getting really clear on their BIG why and what they stand for.

If you have not yet gone through my 4 part Diamond wealth video series and workbook, you can start there – just go to www.sarahjanediamond.com, opt in and go through the 4 C’s of heart based business.

know where u r going

I believe living into your JOY of business as your LIFE all starts with healing your own core woundings, your adverse childhood experiences and your beliefs around money.

 

Foundation and persistence is a HUGE part of an entrepreneur’s work, and I believe that anyone that tells you that you don’t have to work to create what you want is wrong. Now, that doesn’t mean you have to work hard, or that you have to suffer. Quite the opposite — the point is to enjoy the work knowing your core essence and your GOLD – I lead my clients back to themselves through my Pathways to Purpose 10 week foundational process, which you can learn more about in my STORE. But it does take effort and energy to create something real.

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Earning $100K but spending $80K doesn’t equal business abundance

 

There has been a trend in the coaching industry towards spending a ton of money on more and more team members, more and more un-necessary programs, more and more applications & technology, more and more bells and whistles.

 

My husband likes to call me frugal, and he’s right: I just don’t like to waste money – it’s my ancestral Irish/ Jewish inheritance!

 

I grew my multiple 6-figure business without breaking the bank, and I teach my clients to do the same. Here is a tip to get you started: You shouldn’t be spending more than 40% – 45% of your gross income (unless you are earning less than $20K and you are investing in business support). I am proud to share that I average about a 60% margin.

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Price Yourself and Invest in Yourself at rates that feel in alignment with you

 

Nothing makes me angrier than experts telling new practitioners and entrepreneurs, straight out of the gate, to charge exorbitant rates.

 

This is usually a surefire way to create disappointment, despair and frustration.

 

I’m all about charging rates that feel GOOD to you and that help you really step into your value, but jacking up prices that feel out of touch doesn’t actually do that.

 

If you want to learn more about how to price your offerings with integrity, alignment AND your value intact, book a CLARITY session now http://www.vcita.com/v/sarahjanediamond/online_scheduling?service_id=b5c4bc1f907b8cf0&staff_id=81e1a3920426f6ce.

 

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Don’t Lose Yourself

I have hired a number of coaches over the years, and have received a ton of value from them. I would not have been able to create the business I’ve created without their love and support.

At the same time, there have been many instances where coaches made suggestions that just truly didn’t resonate with me. The suggestions were perhaps the “norm” or the “formula” in the industry, but I knew in my heart that it wouldn’t serve me or my business.

 

YOU know and understand yourself and your business better than anyone else. Trust yourself before you trust any formulas.

Know that there are MANY, many amazing coaches out there

This is the most important guideline in this article. Despite some of the not-so-great things happening in the coaching industry right now, overall it is a wonderful and magical industry that has broken stereotypes and boundaries, given hope and inspiration to millions, and truly transformed the world. I believe deep down to my toes that the world is a better place thanks to the coaching industry. And I believe it will do much, much, much more good in the decades to come.

 

If you know you need support in your business and life, don’t approach coaching from a jaded perspective. Know there are so many brilliant coaches out there who can change your life. The trick is to approach it all with some of the tips and pieces of wisdom I’ve given you in this article, and above all else — trust your intuition and love yourself.

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Heartful Call to Action

If you want an entrepreneurial journey that honors ALL of who you are, and to market effectively while loving yourself deeply, then you are in the right place. Get in touch for a CLARITY to health, wealth & happiness breakthrough session (my gift to you), and we’ll go deep into finding where you can embrace yourself more fully, where you are now, what is stopping for having success and how to get you to where you want to be with heart, integrity and in your True Nature

 

Book now – the world is waiting for you, not someone “like” you.

 

http://www.vcita.com/v/sarahjanediamond/online_scheduling?service_id=b5c4bc1f907b8cf0&staff_id=81e1a3920426f6ce

Telling your story with a whole heart

By | access consciousness, comfort zone, communication, confidence, Conscious living, courage, depression, doubt and distraction, emotional abuse, fear, inspiration, judgements, nervous system overwhelm, peter levine, self love, self-acceptance, sex and sensualness, somatic release, spiritual growth, storytelling, stress, trauma, true nature, Uncategorized | No Comments

Do you tell your story with a whole heart?

 

I love this quote:


“You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.”
~Brené Brown

It’s your living legacy, the significance without making it significant of what makes you, uniquely special!
The truth is, when we build ourselves up by healing from the inside out everything heals.
I’m trying to make myself stronger on the inside, to be able to heal with life on the outside.
That’s what I’m doing that’s significant.”
It is time to share your gift, your unique story with the world.

I was leading a client through the True Nature Mindfulness Change process this week. She had a huge breakthrough around a childhood memory that has been running her life for over two decades. By giving the unresolved pain – the trapped sensations of her child parts a voice, the constant back pain and deliblitating migraines that had been running her life, left her body and for the first time in a long time, she finally felt like an active participant in how she would create her life from the present. It was beautiful to see the twinkle come into her eyes and she honestly looked twenty years younger in that instant she realised she HAS CHOICE – choice to live life for herself, not her mother, not her sisters, not her husband, not her children, but for herself.

You can Listen to this free webinar here about healing the abandoned child.

and

part two here

I see spontaneous healings

like this every day in my work with adverse childhood trauma and often get asked if we ever truly get past our stories of abuse and trauma.

Can you relate to not wanting your story to be your story?

Yes?
Then consider what I told her, this IS your story.
There is a GIFT in your story of abuse, of neglect, of the challenges you overcame and that is what you came into the world and got through to share with others.
You see the world is not waiting for someone LIKE you, the world is waiting for YOU to tell your story as the GIFT not the victim of the lies someone told you were true about your experiences.
And guess what?
Until you embrace the gift you are, your body will continue to keep the score and it will hurt!

You can treat symptoms of anxiety and depression, you can release trauma from the body, but in the end fighting your true nature, your soul purpose for being YOU in a physical body –  IN the story, is exactly what causes a lot of the suffering, symptoms and disease in the first place.

For years I tried to live outside my story – telling myself I had nothing to be depressed about,
that I wasn’t traumatised,
that I wasn’t easily triggered,
that I wasn’t sensitive,
that I could keep up with what was expected of me by others
that I had no choice in what happened to me or my body.
that is was just life –
“make your bed, lie in it”
“its your latin life – deal with it”
and a whole lot of other lies, unkindness and judgements that held the suffering in place
…. about my story – my life experiences.


Like Berne Brown, I too am an expert on shame,

on not enoughness, on feeling like I am alone, I did not learn it with a phD at University, my phD is my story because after all I gained all my experience out in the world, in the big bad assery field of blame, shame, guilt, self sabotage and external bullying.

For years I did everything I possibly could to “fix” myself
prove I was enough
prove I was worthy
and loveable
and brilliant just as I was
messy and imperfect.
and make the in the lies I tried so hard to make true that I told myself and others especially in the moments of caring not empowering me to do something different.
I remember my Mom telling me as tears pure down my face after a particularly rough day at high school when I felt so alienated and alone
” oh they are just jealous, don’t worry about it.”
and her saying that make me feel even worse.

It added to my confusion, my anxiety and my suicidal thoughts.
By not acknowledging the fact that my nervous system was sensitive, that being intuitive made me easily triggered,
that I was entering adulthood from a starting post that was further back than many people,
I was making life a lot more difficult than it had to be.

This doesn’t mean staying small and remaining a victim.

On the contrary, having a spiritual breakdown a decade later
owning my heroes journey in that dark night of the soul when I entered the cave
was when I finally could own the gift of my story,
and then I because I could FEEL into it, I began to heal.

I had tried to own my story as a child, I shared excerpts of it with others, and I was told variations of ‘you’re too sensitive’ and ‘you need to try harder’, right after I’d been screamed at, shamed or ignored for a week.

I wasn’t TOO sensitive, I was hurt, confused and abused and abandoned.
That’s the truth under all the lies.

Now I vulnerably own and tell my whole story with a whole, open heart,

because my story is a version of your own story and visa versa.
I can say no when I feel overwhelmed without feeling like I’m a failure.
I can take baby steps, slow and unsteady at times with things that others do without hesitation,
without telling myself I’m useless or stupid.( My ex narcissistic husband was really good at reinforcing that!)

I have so much gratitude for my story and for the clients I see who remind me of my resilience in their story.
Together we create a space of fertile listening, of honouring the story from the child’s perspective,
of acknowledging that through the story you created secure attachment when you could not run away, or fight back or create sanctuary or receive
and you will continue to stretch outside your comfort zone to be able to
take care of yourself, as the loving parent who perhaps was not able to keep you safe back then in your childhood moments
and then the nervous system, the brain gets a chance to rewire and reboot from the present.

When you try to live outside your story,
you are constantly putting your nervous system in harm’s way, back in that moment as if it is happening in current time.
Your amygdala responds to the threat of being chased by the lion, and you are right back in the fight/flight/flee state.

For many of the clients I have the honour of guiding back to their True Nature it looks like:

  • taking a job that puts you in situations that constantly trigger  bullying or harassment -“I am not safe”.
  • staying in a relationship that is abusive and unkind – ” I am not worthy of love”.
  • beginning a weight loss program only to binge eat on day 2 “-  I need to be invisible”.

What would it be worth to you to not ever have to make yourself right again by being able to identify the patterns, the feeling under the feeling in those stories and get rd of them forever?
If you have a broken leg, you don’t agree to go hiking in the mountains with your able-bodied friends.
You don’t agree to a job that requires you to stand all day.

This doesn’t mean your leg will always be broken, but it will heal a lot faster if you stop acting as though the injury doesn’t exist.

“You cannot heal, what you cannot feel!”

If you rest up and take the pressure off, it may heal completely and you will be able to go hiking.
Or it might always give a twinge of pain so you decide to take a job that enables you to take the weight off it occasionally.

Our stories are always changing based on our current reality.
Acceptance of what is in any moment is what keeps us truly safe.
Stand up for your whole story, honour it, and if those around you tell you you’re playing the victim,
know that you’re doing the exact opposite.

Are you ready to take responsibility for your healing, your well-being and reclaim your True Nature to thrive?
In the Purpose Mapping process, you get to find your gold by going into the cave, embracing the parts of your shadow you wish were not you and seeing the gift of who you came here to be, BECAUSE of your story
And this means making space for growth at a pace that actually works – for you.

If you are curious about what any of this has to do with Lions and the lessons we can learn from the Power of the Pride and nature – why Zebras don’t get ulcers, I hope you will join Cara Gubbins and myself for a refreshing, honest conversation about how to respond to life stressors , calm down your nervous system and heal your body naturally.
You may be surprised how simple it can be to heal from trauma and abuse in a way that does not require
anxiety, depression or beating yourself up with all the head tripping.

Join me as I’m interviewed by Dr. Cara Gubbins on the Animal Wisdom Circle Expert Interview Series on May 6 at 11am PST.
Her show helps animal lovers and spiritual seekers connect with their truth so they can change the world. My interview is called “The Power of the Pride: What Lions Can Teach Us About Heart Connections and Teamwork,” and I’ll be sharing how to heal separation sickness, create calm in the chaos of the urban jungle, and use the power of animal totems.
Join us for what will be an uplifting and inspiring event.

You can register here: http://eepurl.com/bLd-a1 and get all the details for joining the call.

and in the meantime celebrate your incredible story – its what makes you, uniquely special!
It is time to share your gift, your unique story with the world.

Much love & and gratitude

P.S. READY TO SILENCE SELF SABOTAGE?:

Notice the name calling that happens with your inner voice.

Start to cultivate self compassion and radical acceptance of yourself with these reflections:

  • “I can have compassion for myself and accept myself just as I am”
  • “Let me just start right where I am, right now”
  • “I deeply love and accept myself”

Accepting yourself as you can give you a place to start without judgement. The next step is to ask for what you need and and move forward on your priorities.

Was this helpful?

I’d love to hear what you got from it- send me a quick email or comment below !

 

Depression is A Disease of Civilisation: Hunter-gatherers hold the Key to the Cure

By | access consciousness, big vision, blind spots, chronic disease, comfort zone, connection, depression, doubt and distraction, emotional abuse, fear, gut microbiome, inspiration, judgements, kindness, nervous system overwhelm, peter levine, rituals, self love, self-acceptance, somatic release, spiritual growth, stress, true nature, Uncategorized | No Comments

Depression is A Disease of Civilization: Hunter-Gatherers Hold the Key to the Cure

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Depression is a global epidemic. It is the main driver behind suicide, which now claims more than a million lives per year worldwide. One in four Americans will suffer from clinical depression within their lifetimes, and the rate is increasing with every generation.

It robs people of sleep, energy, focus, memory, sex drive and their basic ability to experience the pleasures of life, says author of The Depression Cure Stephen Ildari. It can destroy people’s desire to love, work, play and even their will to live. If left unchecked it can cause permanent brain damage.

Depression lights up the pain circuitry of the brain to such an extent that many of Ildari’s psychiatric patients have called it torment, agony and torture. “Many begin to look to death as a welcome means of escape,” he said in a Ted Talks presentation.

But depression is not a natural disease. It is not an inevitable part of being human. Ildari argues, like many diseases, depression is a disease of civilization. It’s a disease caused by a high-stress, industrialized, modern lifestyle that is incompatible with our genetic evolution.

Depression is the result of a prolonged stress-response, Ildari said. The brain’s “runaway stress response” – as he calls it – is similar to the fight or flight response, which evolved to help our ancestors when they faced predators or other physical dangers. The runaway stress response required intense physical activity for a few seconds, a few minutes, or – in extreme cases – a few hours.

“The problem is for many people throughout the Western world, the stress response goes on for weeks, months and even years at a time, and when it does that, it’s incredibly toxic,” Ildari said.

Living under continually stressful conditions – as many modern humans do – is disruptive to neuro-chemicals like dopamine and seratonin, which can lead to sleep disturbance, brain damage, immune dysregulation and inflammation, Ildari says.

Civilization is the disease

hadza-dance-tanzania_13187_990x742Epidemiologists have now identified a long list of other stress-related diseases as “diseases of civilization” – diabetes, atherosclerosis, asthma, allergies, obesity and cancer. These diseases are rampant throughout the developed world, but virtually non-existent among modern-day aboriginal peoples.

In a study of 2000 Kaluli aborigines from Papua New Guinea, only one marginal case of clinical depression was found. Why? Because the Kaluli lifestyle is very similar to our hunter-gatherer ancestors’ lifestyle that lasted for nearly 2 million years before agriculture, Ildari said.

“99.9 percent of the human experience was lived in a hunter-gatherer context,” he added. “Most of the selection pressures that have sculpted and shaped our genomes are really well adapted for that environment and that lifestyle.”

In view of nearly 3 million years of hominid existence, since homo habilis first began use of stone tools, our genus has undergone rapid environmental change since the advent of agriculture about 12,000 years ago. And in the last 200 years, since the industrial revolution, our species has had to cope with what Ildari calls “radical environmental mutation.”

While our environment has radically mutated, our human genome is essentially the same as it was 200 years ago, Ildari says. “That’s only eight generations. It’s not enough time [for significant genetic adaptations].”

“There’s a profound mismatch between the genes we carry, the bodies and brains that they are building, and the world that we find ourselves in,” he said. “We were never designed for the sedentary, indoor, socially isolated, fast-food-laden, sleep-deprived frenzied pace of modern life.”

 

The Cure

Though he’s not entirely opposed to medication, Ildari says we can throw all the drugs in the world at the depression epidemic, and it won’t make a dent.

Anti depressant use has gone up 300 percent in the last 20 years, but the rate of depression has continued to increase. One in nine Americans over age 12 is currently taking an antidepressant, and one in five have been on them at some point.

The answer, Ildari says, is a change in lifestyle. He says the results of his six step program have exceeded his wildest dreams:

1. Exercise

2. Omega 3 Fatty Acids

3. Sunlight

4. Healthy Sleep

5. Anti-ruminative activity

6. Social connection

In his presentation, he emphasized the importance of exercise and social connection, as they are two of the hardest parts of the program for modern Americans.

Exercise is ‘not natural’

Ildari says the results of exercise on depression are so powerful that if they could be reduced into a pill, it would be the most expensive pill on earth. The problem is 60 percent of American adults get no regular physical activity. Ildari says it’s not their fault. Between long days at work and household and family responsibilities to attend to, who has the time or energy to hit the gym?

The dirty little secret about exercise, Ildari says, is “it is not natural.” We are designed to be physically active “in the service of adapted goals,” not to exercise on a hamster wheel.

Hunter gatherers get four or more hours of vigorous physical activity every day, but if you ask them they will tell you they don’t exercise, Ildari says. “They don’t work out. Working out would be crazy to them. They live.”

“When you put a lab rat on a treadmill … it will squat down on it’s haunches, and the treadmill starts to rub the fur and the skin right off it’s back side,” he said. “When you stare at a piece of exercise equipment, there is a part of your brain that’s screaming out ‘Don’t do it! You’re not going anywhere!’”

If you can’t go out gathering your own nuts and berries or hunting your own meat, Ildari recommends brisk walking with a friend. Walking for 30 minutes, three times a week, has better effects on depression than Zoloft, he said.

Social Connection

Another huge factor in modern depression is the lack of social connection in our modern nuclear-family bubbles. “Face-time with our loved ones puts the breaks on our stress response,” Ildari says.

The problem is we’ve replaced face-time with screen-time. “Our hunter gatherer ancestors spent all day every day in the company of their loved ones.”

Unfortunately illness, including mental illness, triggers people to isolate themselves, which only makes depression worse.

“Resist the urge to withdraw,” Ildari says, “because when you’re ill, your body tells you to shut down and pull away. When you have the flu, that’s adaptive. When you have depression, it’s the worst thing in the world you could do.”

Rewilding and Tribal Living

What Ildari didn’t mention in his Ted Talk is how difficult his cure is for most modern humans to attain. Sure, we’d all like more fresh air, sunlight, exercise, a better diet, better sleep, less monotonous work, and more interaction with loved ones, but who has time for all that?

I’m stuck here staring at my screen typing about it in an effort to make a living for myself, and many of you don’t even have time to read this article because you have 50+ hours-a-week jobs of your own. Meanwhile, immediate-return hunter-gatherers work an average of 17 hours a week. In this world, we certainly can’t just quit our jobs to be less stressed, when the financial stress would create more stress.

In my opinion, the answer lies in baby steps. Baby steps away from dependence on civilization, and toward nature, earth skills, and self-sustaining communal living.

Its about remembering to come back to your heart, your true nature and loving where you are.

Getting back to your roots, following an ancestral diet, listening to your body, going with the flow of our natural cycles with nature, trusting your gut knowing are the keys to set you free.

You are not broken, there is nothing to fix, there is only a return to the present moment of loving what is.

Interested in getting to the root cause of your disease, suffering, anxiety and depression?

Book a complimentary CLARITY to healing through lifestyle medicine session now

Article credits: returntonow.net